We Go All In.

Between the two of us, my partner and have 40+ masks. We’ve collected them since March starting with two a friend sweetly dropped off to us. She knew we didn’t have any so she asked her mom to make them. Soon we heard that masks have to be washed after each use—we needed more. That was fine, since information was changing about which material and what thickness worked best. Ultimately, we began searching out masks we simply liked.

One could say we have a tendency to go all in.

Nothing like the sound of music on vinyl.

When we decide to embark on a new exercise plan, we buy all the equipment we could possibly need and new outfits. (You can’t exercise without the right clothes, right?) One weekend we watched The Blacklist with James Spader, fell in love, and bought every movie he’d ever made. We watched The Masked Singer and rushed to iTunes to buy Jesse McCartney’s live albums. Many years ago, I saw Prince in concert and IMMEDIATELY had to have his entire catalogue. Then I had to find everything in multiple formats and collect every magazine that had him on the cover. We all know where things went from there.

We do have fun, from time to time, putting all our energy into something. The only downside is that sometimes, looking back on our quests, we wonder things like, “NOW what do we do with this stuff?”

What kinds of things tempt you to go all in?

5 Things You Can Do to Take Better Care of Yourself

I don’t know about you, but I’m taking far worse care of myself now than I did in the “before times”. I know that I have to do better with the basics—#movemore #eatbetter. I have plans to improve, and I’ve forgiven myself for my transgressions. But in the course of thinking about how to feel better and make the most of my time in isolation, I’ve come up with a short list of ways I can take better care of myself.

#1 Stop Worrying. This one has been a hard lesson to learn. I’ve been a worrier all of my life. At points in my life, my worrying was debilitating. But one evening, as I shared a current worry with a friend, my loving friend said, “Don’t waste your time worrying about things you don’t have control over. It doesn’t help. Plus you ruin a good day due to the possibility of a bad one.”

Well, damn.

That simple truth hadn’t occurred to me. Now every time I start to worry about something I can’t control, I hear her voice.

2. Tend to someone. Or something.

Sometimes we are in our heads too much. At least I am, especially when it’s quiet or I’m engaged in some routine activity like washing dishes. But when we step outside of ourselves and take care of someone or something, we are immediately warmed. Happier. And it’s not all due to appreciation from those we’re caring for. It’s also because it just feels good. It reinforces our connection to the world. Sometimes, it’s inexplicable. When my Toby lays in my lap because he wants lots of petting, it’s joyous—Even though his boney knees dig into my tender flesh. Shaving Molly, my furry senior dog, feels good. Not that it is truly an enjoyable process for me or her, but shaving her feet helps her to walk better. My partner loves to tend to flowers. It makes her happy to see them grow.

Take care of flowers, pets, family members. Drop off some cookies on your elderly neighbor’s porch. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you’re tending to others.

3. Do something fun, with intention.

Whether you work from home or go into to work, times have changed. I feel like I work 24-hrs a day because if I’m not actually engaged in work, I’m thinking about it. But when I plan something fun, like doing a craft or going for a drive with my partner, there is a line delineating “NOT WORKING TIME”. Moreover, I have something to look forward to.

Plan something fun every week. If you can, every day. It will make a difference in how you feel.

4. Find time to treat yourself to something special.

Rather, something that feels special to you. I like a cup of coffee and a book to read. Some people like a glass of wine and a book, or a bath. Or you could color. Tend to your garden. Crochet. Paint your nails.

You deserve time that is DEVOTED TO YOU BY YOU. This offers an opportunity to relax, reflect, or rejuvenate. Do what you like.

5. Smile more.

Research tells us that smiling is good for us. It improves our moods, alleviates stress, and can boost our immune systems. It can also make people around you smile—Bonus! I would bet that you have a few things that are guaranteed to make you smile. For me, some movies make me laugh every time. Ever see “Cold Turkey”, or “Arsenic and Old Lace”? Also my partner has a silly sense of humor that resonates with me, so she makes me smile and laugh all the time.

Find a reason every day to smile. Especially the days you just don’t feel like it.

What nourishes you? Let’s share and encourage each other!

Strangely Beautiful

I know many people who spend a great deal of time and money on their lawns and flower beds. I’ve never been so fortunate to have either tons of cash or talent in that area. Consequently, my partner and I have always had a “grow if you want to” sort of approach.

It works for us. We plant from time to time, but often end up with beautiful flowers in giant pots. We mow, but not as often as other people in our neighborhood. The wild look seems to suit us, and well, when our neighbors have killed their grass from too much mowing in hot weather, our lawn flourishes. Mostly. When it wants to.

As you can see in the pictures, we keep as many leaves as possible on the lawn and in the flower beds. It works for forests, right? No one rakes them. Past the big tree is a downward incline—much of our property is down the hill. We don’t do anything with that except occasionally get rid of the poison ivy or this nasty invasive vine that wants to have its way with our trees and bushes. But hill is lush and green, with lots of bunnies and squirrels and even foxes.

Okay, fine. It’s messy. Strange. Uneven. Wild. But gosh. It’s so beautiful.

Oops! I've Done It Again--NaNoWriMo

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I have embarked on that nearly impossible task of writing 50K words in one month.

This means 30 days (now 26) of quick and easy food, minimal cleaning, barely any laundry, and sleepless nights. (Not sleeping is the only way I can do this, as my full-time gig won’t give me the month off to write. Go figure.) Moreover, Thanksgiving falls right at Nano crunch time. If I’m ahead, I can maybe take a minute to cook a real turkey dinner. If I’m behind…

It’s only turkey.

NaNoWriMo is a huge challenge I give myself. Part creative, part stress, it’s right up my alley. What tough challenges do you take on?

Coloring=Mediation

My partner and I have effectively quarantined for 8 1/2 months at this point.  I would love nothing better than to shop for myself, spend a lazy afternoon in Barnes and Noble scanning magazines and books. I want to have breakfast at our favorite diner and have coffee from my favorite shop.  As much as I love my partner, our dogs, and our house, I want to go out again.  I won’t of course.  I understand the reality of the pandemic right outside my door, literally.

Experts often recommend meditation.  I’ve tried and I always fall asleep or my mind becomes even more scattered.

But I have found something that allows my mind to rest. Coloring. I know I have mentioned it before but I feel that I have not recommended it strongly enough.  When I am concentrating on finding every tiny space to color, I let everything else go.  All I think about is the picture and the color.

I admit I like paper and crayon coloring too but I prefer using coloring apps.  Apparently, I am not the only one as there is an amazing array of apps to choose from.  I’ve downloaded probably twenty of them.  But I find myself using the same three.  Happy Color gives me new pictures every day.  My favorites are the ones labeled RARE.  With those pictures, each swipe brings not just a color but designs and shades of the color.  There are never enough but they keep me coming back.  I’m addicted to pictures of rooms and table settings. I am always excited to find several in my morning haul. 

Another is Colorscapes.  As I touch the space I intend to color, I enjoy the puff of blue smoke that lets me know I hit the space.  This is especially helpful when the pieces are very small.I know that I’m finished with a section when no more smoke appears when I touch the page.  Paint By Number is similar to Colorscapes.  It has similar projects but no blue smoke. I have tried others that are beautiful but keep returning to these for some reason. 

I am not sure if it’s  pathetic or a good thing that a puff of blue smoke or swatch of color can leave me feeling happy and peaceful.  Do you have activity that works like meditation for you?

Reach Out for Something New

Not too long ago, I was feeling sorry for myself. It all felt like too much, more than I could bear. Maybe some of you can relate. It occurred to me that there are three possible outcomes to the end of the pandemic. I will either come out of this exactly the same (in which case I will have wasted a year or more of my life), I can come out of this worse for wear (and who knows how bad “worse” can be), or I can emerge better than I was before.

I’m choosing the latter.

Vegetable Stew. Yummy.

To this end, I’ve recommitted to eating better. Considering current events, it seems prudent to eat less meat. I’m not ready to go full on vegan. I’m still going to eat dairy, for now.

I’ve been hunting for recipes that are filling but meatless. One meal I particularly like is Vegetarian Stew. It has corn and potatoes and zucchini and tomatoes, among other veggies. With a sprinkle of parmesan cheese, it was delicious. Let me know if you want the recipe.

I’ve also tried my hand at crocheting. I used to crochet—a long time ago. All I ever managed to create were scarves. But look! Fingerless gloves.

Before you start to critique my effort, I already know they’re full of flaws. But when I look at them, I see sheer perfection. I’ll get better with practice.

One thing I still need to add to my process of change is something calming. Peaceful. Reflective. I’m not sure what that will look like. I do need to read more. I love reading but it’s one of those things I don’t often make time to do. I’m not good at journaling. Maybe listening to music? Meditation? There is something appealing about both of those options. That being said, I’m open to suggestions.

I wonder if I will be successful.

In a song, Prince wrote, “It’s time to reach out for something new. That means you, too.” I think it’s my time to change. I’m going to give it my best shot.

Why Worry? #lessons

I worry about everything.

The election. My partner’s asthma. My weight. Upcoming doctor appointments. COVID-19. World peace. My dog’s incessant appetite and thirst. Carbohydrates. The condition of the sun. Death. (Just as a few examples.)

It is exhausting, really. It takes its toll. Sleep becomes elusive, because when I close my eyes, all I can do is think about the thing I’m worrying about. And poor coping skills lead me to eat badly and stop exercising. Moreover, I also get nauseated, sometimes with the existential nausea of questioning existence.

One day, in the middle of worrying about death and dying, I had a conversation with a friend. She calmly listened to me lament while my stomach churned. At a point, she looked at me with the most puzzled expression and asked me, “If there is nothing you can do about it, why spend the time worrying?”

She went on to point out to me that the time I spent worrying so hard ruins time—worrying so much about death wastes life.

Have you ever had a lightbulb moment, a moment when you understand something so profound it changes your life? That was mine.

I’m not saying I never worry. I do. I suppose it’s in my nature. But a lot of the time, when I remind myself about this conversation. What’s the point of worrying when there is nothing I can do? And since EVERY minute of life is so precious, why waste any of them feeling sick and agitated about something that is out of my control? After that, I can usually take a breath and let it go.

Mostly.

I’d love to hear about your lightbulb moments. What “aha!” changed your life.

My lesson in a chart.

Grateful.

This is the next-to-last week for my summer CSA. Every week my partner and I put on our masks and head to a local farm to pick up our share of fruits and vegetables. The farm also has a small farm stand, so also pick up other essentials, like local cheese, bread, eggs, beef (locally raised and processed), and chips—and as you can see in the back right of the picture, sometimes also apple fritters.

The farm stand requires masks and social distancing, and usually has only a handful of people anyway. This little local business has enabled us to always have fresh food during a period when we didn’t think we could because grocery shopping was too risky for us. I am grateful for them.

In this crazy, scary time, it’s hard to appreciate the things that aren’t so crazy. I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude, and reminding myself to consciously be grateful. I am ever so grateful for my partner. I’m grateful for my skilled and understanding doctor. I’m grateful for my employer, and the care it is taking to make sure we’re safe and enabling me to have money to pay my bills.

And I appreciative of my readers who have been on this writing journey with me. Cheyenne also sends his gratitude. Along with a proposition, of course.

What are you grateful for?

A Ceramic What?

In addition to writing, one might say I’m a collector. A hardcore Prince fan, I’ve collected newspaper articles, pictures, music in all formats, books, magazines, concert tickets (I’ve been to so many Prince concerts). The list of what I have and what I would collect is endless. No, I don’t own anything horribly rare or expensive, but every single Prince thing I do have is meaningful to me.

In my opinion, collecting Prince stuff is rational. There will never be another quite like him. But I seem to have other items that, well, perplex even me.

I own several pickles—A couple of ornaments, (one beautifully blown glass), and a number of note cards and bookmarks with pickle images. Why?? I also own glass grapes, metal grapes, and a few pictures of grapes. Huh?

One of my prize possessions is a hot dog. See?

My ceramic frankfurter.

I do not know why I am so drawn to this, but I bet you like it, too.

Where Would You Go If You Could?

If nothing else, staying home for the past few months has given me time to write, and time to think.I tend to focus on my darker, sadder thoughts so, too much time to think isn’t usually a good thing for me.

But sometimes, I think about what’s on my list of things I will do when (if?) the pandemic is over. I definitely want to drive down to the Outer Banks again. I fell in love with the picturesque trip as well as the entire area. From our hotel, the beach was not even a stone’s throw. We stepped onto the balcony and right into the ocean breeze. It sure was beautiful.

I think I’d also like to take an Alaskan cruise, or maybe even a land/cruise combination. Not only are the mountains and icebergs breathtaking (even in pictures), but the Northern Lights...What words can describe this? I imagine being there, seeing this, would be a spiritual experience.

Given the chance, where would you go?

One of Those Days

One thing I know for sure is that if one thing goes wrong in the morning, the rest of the day is in trouble.

First, I have to admit that I overslept, so getting out of the house was rushed.  As I was leaving, the phone rang and I saw it was the arborist who is supposed to check our tree.  This appointment has been delayed by a tropical storm a couple of weeks ago and then a storm with tornados last week.  The arborist was called to help with tree damage, so our poor tree was put on hold.  I knew he was calling to reschedule but there was no time to check calendars so I told the phone (and myself) that I would call him later.

Tuesday is errand day.  I have to be out for our farm shares pick up so run other errands. When I attached my phone in the car, I received the message that the phone was offline.  Now, this phone is about a week old and one sim card has already had to be replaced.  Here we go again I thought.  Followed by “I’ll have to call them later.”

Off I went and picked up the farm shares and decided not to do the other errands to save time. I arrived home, showered, and put everything away.  I grabbed last night’s leftover lasagna and heated that for lunch. 

During lunch a friend called needing to borrow something, medicine was delivered, and a friend kept texting complaints about his day. 

Actually, it was worse than this looks.

Finally, I headed to my office to get started on my workday, only to learn that the internet was down.  I did the usual magic, but nothing happened.  I spent the next 3 hours on the phone with the tech guy who told me one thing to do, then totally changed what he wanted me to do until I was completely turned around.  I checked for loose cables, traced the cable back to its entry to the house, but honestly I wouldn’t have recognized something wrong If I had seen it.  There were multiple wires going in every direction. Did we really have cable in six rooms?  Seems we do even though they are hooked to nothing.  Finally, the tech and I decided that a new modem should be sent.  Great.  How many days?

I also teach remotely, and guess what is needed for that? Yes, an internet connection.  Using the hot spot on my phone I was able to hold the class.  Miraculously when my class ended, the internet came online and then it was gone again.

So here I sit with blogs to post, email to send, and classes to get ready for tomorrow.  But I have no internet.  What’s a person to do? I think I will go to bed and make sure tomorrow starts on time.

Really? Pumpkin Lattes Already?

I'm feeling like this little guy. My partner and I went out today to grab a cup of coffee (we had a touch of cabin fever) and coffee shops are already selling Fall flavors. 

A bewildered owl. Courtesy Skitterphoto on Pexels

Fall? It's 90 degrees where I am. 

Granted, classes are starting up for the Fall semester, which is a marker of the next season. I've been buried in school prep, student advising, and orientations for a few weeks so I suppose I hadn't noticed that time was passing so quickly.  

Tell me, are you a person who years for Fall flavors? I like a few. Apples, caramel (which I consider Fall-ish) and some pumpkin flavors—although not in coffee. I’m a coffee purist.

If Fall flavors are your thing, I have a good recipe for a unique snack/dessert. The recipe is one that has been in my family for decades, although to be honest I have no idea where or with whom it originated.

Pumpkin dip:

2 cups powdered sugar

8oz cream cheese softened

15 ounces of pumpkin (canned or pureed)

2 teaspoons cinnamon (or to taste—I sometimes like a little less)

Makes approximately 4 cups. Recipe can be doubled easily.

Serve with ginger snaps for dipping! YUMMY!

If you try it, let me know what you think!