Vacation Anxiety

Do you get anxious before a vacation? I do. It starts with the packing. It is never easy to determine what is enough (so you don’t run out of anything critical, like underwear), and what is much much more than you need..

Inevitably, I forget something critical AND overpack.

My ideal vacation activity.

I also worry about work prior to vacation. I don’t want to work while I’m away. But my experience has always been that you work twice as hard before you go, and three times as hard when you return. For a a variety of reasons, I do not want to work while I am away. What if I get an important call or email? Do I respond? What will happen if I don’t.

This summer, I vow to do things differently.I’m not taking my laptop. I’m going to let critical people know that I’m going to be inaccessible for a few days. I’m going to plan reading and writing and resting, so work has a lower chance of intruding.

No matter how I fret, once I’m on the road I’m ready to relax and have a good time. Forgotten underwear be damned!

Does pre-vacation stress you out? Or is it just me?

5 Stress Hacks to Help You Live a Healthier Life

Man literally under stress.

April is Stress Awareness Month.

Many of us have way too much stress in our lives. Stress doesn’t have to come from dire events. It can be insidious, creeping into your life and taking a toll little by little until you feel like the dude in the picture.

Been there? I have.

It is not new information that stress is physically harmful to you. The Mayo Clinic tells us that, left unchecked, stress can cause serious health problems including heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity, and diabetes. It’s in our best interest to find ways to alleviate it.

I know, you’re thinking, “Easier said than done.” A few years ago I would have agreed with you. But one day, I woke up with the realization that stress was killing me. At that very moment, I committed to making changes.

The first thing I had to do was leave the job of my heart. I loved it, was born to do it, but the stress of being a nonprofit executive was off the chart. But that wasn’t all. Here are five ways I hacked my way to a life with less stress:

1. Breathe. I have experienced the physiological effects of deep breathing. If you’ve never tried breathing mindfully in order to calm down your “fight or flight” stress response, just give this one minute exercise a shot and see how it makes you feel. Deep Breathing Tool

2. Put on headphones and listen to music. It doesn’t matter what kind of music soothes you, but headphones are a must.

3. Drink a cup of tea. Any warm beverage is thought to calm your body, but teas especially so. Mint and chamomile teas are well known to have relaxing effects, but so does rose tea. You can read more about it here.

4. Play with your pets. It’s generally known that having puppies and kittens around lowers our stress levels by increasing serotonin and dopamine. Don’t have a pet? Make a cup of tea and watch this video. Goodbye, stress.

5. Read. I know. You’d expect an author to say this. But immersing yourself in the world of a story can take you away and give you a chance to breathe.

   Do you have any additional stress hacks? Let me know!

Four things You Can Do To Stop Worrying.

It will come as no surprise to many of you that I am a worrier. I worry about my family and world peace. I worry about my reputation and my professional success. I worry about my health (a terrible predicament for a near-hypochondriac). I worry about global warming, COVID-19, and job security. 

I try very hard to NOT worry, but it’s complicated. Worthwhile ventures often are, but you can learn from my trial and error. Here are four things you can do instead of worrying.

1. Do something creative.

Science tells us that creative action lowers cortisol, the stress hormone. When cortisol is reduced, we feel more relaxed and gain a greater sense of perspective. It also increases dopamine, the “happy hormone.” Increased dopamine, in turn, can make you more creative. Consequently, it’s difficult to worry and engage in something creative. The really great thing is it doesn’t matter what creative endeavor you pursue. I write. I also crochet, scrapbook, and dabble in graphic design.

2. Listen to music.

Particularly music you love. Research tells us that when we listen to music that moves us, the “happy hormone,” dopamine increases. A lot of music moves me so much it makes me cry tears of the joyous and melancholy variety. I’m pretty eclectic in my tastes. While Prince is my number one musical favorite, I listen to Florida Georgia Line, Justin Bieber (Don’t hate. He has a fantastic voice.), Nine Inch Nails, and Rachmaninoff. 

3. Eat Chocolate.

Both dark chocolate and milk chocolate have been shown to reduce stress. Dark chocolate, however, is the king of stress relief. It has been shown to reduce cortisol (the stress hormone), and it contains magnesium (known to reduce symptoms of depression). The benefits don’t stop there. Dark chocolate contains flavonoids, which have been shown to improve cardiovascular functioning. You’d gain extra advantages if you eat your chocolate slowly and mindfully. It’s something called Chocolate Meditation.

Chocolate, not your thing? Try a cup of chamomile tea (those flavonoids again) or green tea (contains theanine, which may increase serotonin and dopamine). Learn more about these food items and more here.

4. Breathe.

There are so many sources online that support the use of breathing exercises to reduce stress. During a recent, persistent episode of worrying, one of my favorite medical people reminded me that deep breathing triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting calmness. He instructed me to take five deep breaths. It worked like magic. I immediately felt calmer. Dr. Andrew Weil has a lot to say on the subject and offers these exercises.

I think worrying is a part of my basic personality and, as such, it’s difficult to stop. I’m not even sure I’d want to since worrying has occasionally saved me from making big mistakes. But sometimes, I worry about things I have zero control over. It’s in these times I use this list.

Let me know if you try any of them. Also, if something not on the list works for you, please do share.

Why Worry? #lessons

I worry about everything.

The election. My partner’s asthma. My weight. Upcoming doctor appointments. COVID-19. World peace. My dog’s incessant appetite and thirst. Carbohydrates. The condition of the sun. Death. (Just as a few examples.)

It is exhausting, really. It takes its toll. Sleep becomes elusive, because when I close my eyes, all I can do is think about the thing I’m worrying about. And poor coping skills lead me to eat badly and stop exercising. Moreover, I also get nauseated, sometimes with the existential nausea of questioning existence.

One day, in the middle of worrying about death and dying, I had a conversation with a friend. She calmly listened to me lament while my stomach churned. At a point, she looked at me with the most puzzled expression and asked me, “If there is nothing you can do about it, why spend the time worrying?”

She went on to point out to me that the time I spent worrying so hard ruins time—worrying so much about death wastes life.

Have you ever had a lightbulb moment, a moment when you understand something so profound it changes your life? That was mine.

I’m not saying I never worry. I do. I suppose it’s in my nature. But a lot of the time, when I remind myself about this conversation. What’s the point of worrying when there is nothing I can do? And since EVERY minute of life is so precious, why waste any of them feeling sick and agitated about something that is out of my control? After that, I can usually take a breath and let it go.

Mostly.

I’d love to hear about your lightbulb moments. What “aha!” changed your life.

My lesson in a chart.

Time is Moving Weirdly. Or is it just me?

A serene beach with the shade of a palm tree.

I’ve been home with my partner since March 13, except for a very anxiety-riddled visit to the vet (no contact delivery and pick up of my pooches) and a quick stop at Dairy Queen (we were RIGHT THERE. Don’t judge me.) For the first month, I was in a fog. Panicked all the time. Unable to sleep or eat. Obsessive. Hypochondriacal.

Thankfully, it did eventually end. Then I became focused on being productive. WRITE. CLEAN. ORGANIZE. Work on the yard. Get arts and crafty. There are days that I am very productive.

There are also days when I get up, have a cup of coffee, glance at the clock—and it’s 3:30PM. Then suddenly it’s 9:00PM. Then 11:00PM. What the hell?

I have a few guesses about what happens. Sometimes, it’s a social media time suck. Sometimes it’s a Netflix binge. Or more likely, my to-do list is SO BIG I wander around my house unsure of where or how to start.

The consequence is that I accomplish nothing on those days. Zilch. In fact, it’s all I can do to drag my exhausted for no reason self to bed. Fortunately, I found a fix for it. I pick ONE thing that I MUST accomplish each day, instead of my usual multi-item list. I nearly always do more, but when I don’t, I can still look back on the day and feel good about it.

Does this weird passing of time ever happen to you? How do you deal with it?

By the way, this beautiful picture here has nothing to do with what I’m writing about today. It just makes me happy. I hope it makes you happy, too.

Taking Care of Ourselves

We’re all talking about the effects of isolation on our mental health.  One of the suggestions experts are making is to start a journal.  The theory seems to be that this is such an unusual time and circumstance we would value a record in the future.  That sounds like a wonderful idea.  I wish I had been able to do that.

But the pandemic and social isolation/social distancing have had the opposite effect on me. I’ve kept a journal for most of my life.  During stressful times in the past, I have written up to 10 pages a day dealing with the circumstance.  Journaling this spring should have been easy.  I am, after all, a writer.

Since early March, it has been difficult for me to “orient to time”.  I do clearly understand day-to-day events but often not the exact date. Time compresses, too. I often can’t remember if something happened last week or the week before. My sleeping has become erratic as well. At least twice a week I find myself still awake at 5 am, with the sun peaking over the horizon

Yesterday, I picked up my journal because I thought it had been a few days since I had written.  The last entry was April 3rd. My new plan is to follow Julia Cameron’s recommendation for Morning Pages. This means writing for three pages, longhand, in the style of stream of consciousness. The idea is to do this first thing in the morning to have a clear mind for the day.  

I don't want to. But I will. It will help me keep track of time. It will also enable me to discharge some of my anxiety on the page.

I also found a few things that really help me to reign in my uneasiness. Besides writing, I find deep breathing to be helpful. The Calm app is for iOS devices is a goto for me, There are options that you can get if you pay for them, but the breathing exercises are free (so far) and they really help. Calm Of course, the master of breathing exercises is Dr. Andrew Weil. You can find his exercises here: Dr.Weil

If that sounds too boring to you, many places are offering virtual tours. I find it pretty meditative to watch an aquarium, or meander through a museum. Here are a couple of links to explore. YOu might find something to take you away from your worries, if only for a little while.

Best Virtual Tours According to Goodhousekeeping

Best Virtual Tours According to Town and Country Magazine

How are you managing? Be well. Stay safe. #stayhome if you can #washyourhands