It's Beginning to Look Alot Like...Fall?

It’s unseasonably warm here in Connecticut. The leaves are only now turning and falling to the ground. Yesterday and today it hit 80 degrees.

That’s crazy.

We took advantage of the warm weather to put away much of our outdoor furniture. It’s a majestic view, the red and orange, beige and brown leaves covering uncharacteristically green grass. We also put out halloween decorations and of course, dressed-up our babies.

In case you’re wondering, these are Lee MIddleton Dolls. Their faces were sculpted and their bodies signed by one and only Reba Schick, an artist who sculpted the most beautiful doll faces. These two are especially precious to me because my partner and I chose their hair and eyes and bodies. Aren’t they adorable?

Happy Halloween. Welcome to Fall.

August Book Fairs! Check them out!

Seeking your next gay read?

 

Look no further! These bestselling authors have teamed up to offer a delightful selection of new and very queer books. Available only for a limited time.

Book Fair: All Flavors of MM Romance.

Book Fair: Family Don’t End With Blood.

Book Fair: Queer Books!

It's Not A Small Life

Today, I heard someone say that they know they lead a small life.

It was, in fact, the second time I’ve heard it. A character on a drama series also said it. The comment, so soft on the surface, hit me pretty hard both times. What might it mean, to live a small life?

I’m not going to say more about the real person who said it. That’s not fair. But it’s worth talking about the fictional person. Based on the rest of the story, the character seemed to mean that his life is unexceptional. Ordinary. He had a job as a salesman; he made a living, but he wasn’t close to being rich. He lived in a small apartment, had a couple of friends. He was, by all accounts, a good son, a great big brother, and a loving boyfriend. He meant he was neither a hero or a villain. He wasn’t part of the elite, nor was he a criminal (despite being surrounded by them).

But…

He was really good at his job. His boss valued his work and supported him during a difficult time. He loved and had a close relationship with his mother and his sister. His friends cared enough to defend him when the going got rough. His girlfriend loved him as completely and as deeply as he loved her. He fiercely protected his family, sometimes to his detriment.

He touched the lives of many people. He loved and was loved. Sounds like a colossal life to me.

Risk or Treat

Halloween is becoming a cultural hornet’s nest and should be retired.

Yeah, I said it. But let me explain.

At this point, most people know the origins of Halloween. Briefly (and insofar as I understand) it originated with the ancient festival of Samhain. Celtic peoples believed that ghosts returned to earth on October 31. Folks would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward them off.

Over the years, it morphed into the celebration we have today. Children dress up as whatever they want, trick or treat for candy, and carve pumpkins (among other rituals). Adults do the same, except substitute parties for trick or treating.

Sounds great, right? But it isn’t.

Along with little ones excited to get a jack o’lantern filled with candy, the streets Halloween night are filled with teenagers and young adults, carrying pillow cases to collect treats. Many of all ages don’t even bother to dress up. My observation and experience is that it changes the tenor of the evening, and not for the better. Across the country, crime spikes on Halloween. Numerous sources have reported this, such as the NY Post and Eyewitness News. A quick google search of “Halloween violence” will give you pages of articles documenting shootings, property damage, robberies, and hate crimes. For these reasons, many parents are unwilling to allow their children to go trick or treating. Trunk or treating and other adaptations have emerged.

Trunk or treating is where adults are invited to decorate the trunks of their cars Halloween style. Kids walk from car to car collecting candy. Shopping malls have gotten in on it as (in my opinion) a marketing activity where kids, accompanied by parents, go from store to store collecting candy.

Don’t get me wrong. The IDEA of Halloween is wonderful. It is supposed to be exciting and visually entertaining. You can’t beat the vibrant colors and characters and, of course, the candy. And the movies. More importantly, I have many fond memories of taking my nieces and nephews out and then coming home to sort out candy, drinking hot chocolate. Oh, the giggles.

But would I take them out today? No. Not on a bet. This formerly meaningful night has deteriorated into a tense, crime riddled candy grab. Might there be an unintended and unfortunate lesson in taking that risk? Does the potential (but diminished) fun outweigh the risk?

I don’t think so. I also don’t think there would be momentum to discontinue Halloween unless something horrific happens. I hope it doesn’t. I hope everything I’ve said is wrong.

Be safe.

Combining Imagination with Mythology

Writing is hard.

But it’s a bit easier, in my opinion, when you write about what you like. I like music. I like fantasy creatures. Sure, there is a special place in my heart for sexy vampires, confident Weres, witches and wizards. As a teen, I fell in love with so many of them and immersed myself in their stories. But as I grew up, I wanted more.

Writing is a way of creating the world as I want it to be. All of my stories are connected to Unakite City. In this fictional urban setting, creatures live side by side with humans, “among them but unknown to them”, as one of my characters bellows (repeatedly). There are the usual urban fantasy cast of characters, but also less common creatures. The star, Cheyenne, is an incubus. His best friend is a huldra and his accountant is a dragon. And now there is Malik.

Malik is a character who is introduced in Waiting on the Son, the soon-to-be-released, long awaited sequel to House of the Rising Son. He is based on the caladrius that appears in Roman mythology. According to the legend, this small bird is often referred to as a harbinger of either hopelessness or hope. The caladrius can sense if you are going to live or die. He also has the power to heal you. For this reason, they often served royalty.

Malik was initially formed on one of my trips to the casino. (Don’t get it twisted. I mostly play the nickel slot machines and listen to the live music. But I digress.) I was sitting in the corridor between buildings eating a strawberry ice cream cone, when I noticed an interesting man. He was wearing a t-shirt and khaki green pants and moving from one person to another. Naturally, he came over to me and we immediately began a conversation about books. Every few minutes, he would politely excuse himself and scurry to another unsuspecting person. Then he’d come back to continue our conversation. I thought, What a cool guy.

My interaction with this fascinating man became the bones of the character. To build around these bones, I added the basics of the the legend and then using my creativity and knowledge of the story, Malik became his own bird. For example, he isn’t small. Most of the time he appears as human, but he can take the form of a bird at will. He can heal, but at a cost. He’s also a scout and can find just about anything you need.

Sometime soon I’ll talk about the huldra. This mythological creature turned into one of the most beloved characters, according to my readers. I won’t give away everything, of course. I want you to read the book and fall in love with Chey and the gang.

Reducing Global Warming is Our Responsibility

Theoretically, Spring began on March 20th here in Connecticut. But March did not go out like a lamb as promised. In fact, we’ve had a couple of Spring snow storms. I am so tired of cold weather.

You may be wondering how global WARMING can cause colder weather. This Forbes article might offer some insight. But what I know from observation is that the ice cap is melting, average temperatures are on the rise, and our weather is changing. According to EDF (the Environmental Defense Fund), heat waves are hotter, cold is colder, storms surges are fiercer.

We used to have 4 seasons. Spring was my jam! Moderate temperature, warm rains…but it is as likely to be cool as the summer is likely to be crazy hot. Although it may be too late to turn global warming around completely, we have to give it a try.

Green America offers some ideas about what we—you and I—can do about global warming. Ideas include

• We can stop wasting food. Buy what you need. Eat what you prepare. Donate extra to food banks and shelters.

• Eat less meat. I don’t know about the whole gassy cow rumor, but it takes a lot to raise the animals we eat—land, water, food. According to Bloomberg, livestock consumes most of the corn and soy grown. Our collective footprint would be less if we raised fewer animals to eat.

• Use clean energy. Anything you can do to move away from fossil fuel will help.

• Insulate our homes and offices better.

• Recycle. Buy less. When we recycle and/or reduce our consumption, less junk ends up in landfills.

I understand if it doesn’t sound like much. But remember, individual drops of rain overflow rivers. If each person takes a few easy steps, all of us, future generations, and the one and our one and only Earth may survive.

The NaNo Journey

Every year. Every damn year I sign up for National Novel Writing Month. You know—the international movement to write a 50K word novel in the Month of November. Sounds crazy, right? Well, it is.

In a way, it is a competition, but not a traditional one. You’re competing against your work. School. Family. Church. Friends. Bathing. Okay, maybe not bathing. But the point is, your quest for fifty-thousand words is in direct competition with your normal life. It’s not possible to have both. It is also a personal challenge—the proverbial hero’s journey.

In September, you’re in the middle of your ordinary world. you remember Nano is around the corner. But by the end of the month, the pull of the challenge calls to you. (The Call to Adventure) Then your family reminds you how stressed you were last year. You remember the sleepless nights, the pain of digging into your soul and puking up words. You think better of joining the madness. (Refusal of the call)

But soon, you get an email from the Municipal Liaisons. They’re excited that NaNo is almost here. They have advice and plans for gatherings and stickers. They. Have. Stickers. (Meeting the Mentor) So you decide, “Sure! Why not?” You sign on and come up with an idea for your project. (Crossing the Threshold) You begin to gather your friends and fellow writers around you. (Tests, Allies, Enemies) Misery loves company.

Excitement and adrenaline fuel your start. It isn’t easy, but you push through. (Approach). And then you face the dreaded “saggy middle”. Your brain spasms and you can’t think of one more word. Everyone idea you ever had vanishes like a wisp of smoke. But you forge on, writing prayers to the goddesses of stories , asking for them to save you just this once. Documenting your stream of consciousness thoughts about how much you suck as a writer. And then, a glimmer of an idea flickers. With renewed energy, you set the keyboard on fire and just before the stroke of 11:59 on the last day you enter your tome on the NANO site.(The Ordeal)

Despite your exhaustion, you put on the Nano Winner t-shirt you ordered and have a glass (bottle) pof wine. Much celebrating is in order. (The Reward) The next day you take a deep breath, and read your story. Coffee is brewing, and the last of those stale donuts are calling your name. It’s time to edit. (The Road Back)

At the moment, I’m making my Approach. It’s a slow start this time around, but I will persevere. I’ll battle work and cleaning my house. I’ll try not to ignore my friends and family. I’ll remember to bathe. I’ll be the hero of this journey.

Four things You Can Do To Stop Worrying.

It will come as no surprise to many of you that I am a worrier. I worry about my family and world peace. I worry about my reputation and my professional success. I worry about my health (a terrible predicament for a near-hypochondriac). I worry about global warming, COVID-19, and job security. 

I try very hard to NOT worry, but it’s complicated. Worthwhile ventures often are, but you can learn from my trial and error. Here are four things you can do instead of worrying.

1. Do something creative.

Science tells us that creative action lowers cortisol, the stress hormone. When cortisol is reduced, we feel more relaxed and gain a greater sense of perspective. It also increases dopamine, the “happy hormone.” Increased dopamine, in turn, can make you more creative. Consequently, it’s difficult to worry and engage in something creative. The really great thing is it doesn’t matter what creative endeavor you pursue. I write. I also crochet, scrapbook, and dabble in graphic design.

2. Listen to music.

Particularly music you love. Research tells us that when we listen to music that moves us, the “happy hormone,” dopamine increases. A lot of music moves me so much it makes me cry tears of the joyous and melancholy variety. I’m pretty eclectic in my tastes. While Prince is my number one musical favorite, I listen to Florida Georgia Line, Justin Bieber (Don’t hate. He has a fantastic voice.), Nine Inch Nails, and Rachmaninoff. 

3. Eat Chocolate.

Both dark chocolate and milk chocolate have been shown to reduce stress. Dark chocolate, however, is the king of stress relief. It has been shown to reduce cortisol (the stress hormone), and it contains magnesium (known to reduce symptoms of depression). The benefits don’t stop there. Dark chocolate contains flavonoids, which have been shown to improve cardiovascular functioning. You’d gain extra advantages if you eat your chocolate slowly and mindfully. It’s something called Chocolate Meditation.

Chocolate, not your thing? Try a cup of chamomile tea (those flavonoids again) or green tea (contains theanine, which may increase serotonin and dopamine). Learn more about these food items and more here.

4. Breathe.

There are so many sources online that support the use of breathing exercises to reduce stress. During a recent, persistent episode of worrying, one of my favorite medical people reminded me that deep breathing triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting calmness. He instructed me to take five deep breaths. It worked like magic. I immediately felt calmer. Dr. Andrew Weil has a lot to say on the subject and offers these exercises.

I think worrying is a part of my basic personality and, as such, it’s difficult to stop. I’m not even sure I’d want to since worrying has occasionally saved me from making big mistakes. But sometimes, I worry about things I have zero control over. It’s in these times I use this list.

Let me know if you try any of them. Also, if something not on the list works for you, please do share.

Poison Ivy

If I haven’t already mentioned, my philosophy about all things green or flowering is “grow if you want to.” Sometimes it works in my favor. For instance, I once bought a discounted plant. It was priced at 75cents because the few remaining leaves were brown and scraggly. You couldn’t even tell what it was supposed to be. It was clearly dying. I felt like it needed a home. At least its final days would be happy. That was five years ago. It’s now a thriving philodendron.

Of course, sometimes my philosophy fails me, and a plant takes advantage of my kind disposition. Like poison ivy. I suppose I should call it MY poison ivy as it’s taken up residence in three places in my yard. If it had been content to stay in one area, it could make itself comfortable. But it decided to push the envelope.

Now, this plant has me hostage. I can’t kill it. There’s nothing I know of that will destroy this menace that won’t also kill everything else—in direct opposition to how my garden grows. What to do?

I have no choice but to suit up in long sleeves, gloves, a face mask, and long pants and try to extract it with my bare hands. Wish me luck. If, by chance, you have a better idea, please share.

LGBTQ Fantasy E-Book Fair!

I don’t know about you, but as an avid reader I’m always looking for new authors. Here’s an opportunity to check some out! Click the picture!

A giveaway for LGBTQ urban fantasy, science fiction, and fantasy books and short stories.

Four Ways Television Sets You Up for Disappointment

Iwill admit that I watch way too much TV and too many movies. We all know that movies and TV shows are not based on reality. They set up the average person for disappointment–and I’m not even talking about the concept that everyone on most shows is young, beautiful, and wealthy.

These are the Top 4 Ways TV programs have set us up:

Burning candles on black background.

1. The speed of travel. A body can be found on the west coast and a D.C. FBI team is on site before the body is even photographed. On a smaller scale, the main character always gets a taxi quickly. Has that been YOUR experience? Not mine. I remember a fated evening in NYC where not one single cab would stop for me.

   Sometimes we have no idea at all how the characters get around. Do shadow hunters always travel with a warlock to portal them, or do they take the subway in their invisible form?

2. Housing is never an issue. Every character has a bedroom that is ridiculously large. Everyone who lives in a city has a penthouse apartment with glass walls and no curtains. Instead, they have beautiful, panoramic views of the city. Many have balconies large enough to accommodate plants, enough furniture for a full room, and maybe a hot tub. Admittedly, the real issue for me is the window walls. One show has wall of windows with a view of a brick wall that appears to be about three feet from the house. Why???

3. Alcoholism is rarely an issue. This despite the fact that, in some shows, all the characters ever drink is alcohol. They rarely show any consequences of all this drinking. Occasionally someone has a cup of coffee or tea but you have to watch closely for those moments to make sure whiskey hasn’t been added.

4. Unrealistic use of candles. What’s most disappointing to me, however, is that my bedroom is not lit with hundreds of pillar candles that seem to burn day and night. How do they afford all those candles? How do they get them lit so quickly? How are they lit when NO ONE was home? Why do none ever sputter and die?

I suppose I could make do with fewer candles if my room was filled with the strands of twinkle lights you see in the bedrooms of TV teenagers. Or I could get one of those glass-walled apartment and let the city lights illuminate my boudoir. 

It’s something to consider.

Snow

A few pictures of today’s snow.

I don’t consider myself to be a winter person. The reason is simple: I don’t like being cold. I feel sad, however, when it doesn’t produce a classic colossal snow.

When I was a child, a huge snow storm meant home from school with mom. She made cookies and hot chocolate of course (what’s a snow day without them!), but she also made her special snow ice cream.

You heard me. Snow ice cream. My mom’s snow ice cream was the yummiest treat ever, some combination of sugar, cream, and condensed milk. Go ahead, look it up. You’ll find a few different recipes. None of them will be mom’s. If you want to try it, I have one caution—today’s snow is nowhere near as clean as the snow of my youth. Be careful.

While I can’t reproduce the ice cream, whenever it snows my partner and I grab the hot chocolate and watch it come down. Sometimes, like today, we bundle up and head outside. It wasn’t a lot of snow, three inches, maybe. We prefer at least six. In fact, the more snow the better—which you’d find hilarious if you knew the magnitude of our back and knee problems. But it brings us joy. That’s what snow is.

Joyous.

Take good care.