Universal Letter Writing Week: January 8-14

Communicating is an interesting endeavor. There are a number of different media you can use: written, personally addressed; written to a general audience; face-to-face in person; video technology; audio technology; email; texts/instant message. I often teach about communication, explaining that each one of these mediums has benefits and challenges. Face to face communication is objectively the richest. Think of all the information that is conveyed through not only words, but tone of voice, cadence, inflection, facial expression, gestures, etc. Text is the worse, and maybe I’ll talk about that sometime. But for now, I want to talk about what I consider to be the next best medium—the handwritten letter.

I love writing letters. As an adult, I had a whole host of penpals around the world that I met through a fanclub. We wrote for many years. Some of them grew to be very close friends that I'm still in touch with. I have even met a handful. That was a cool experience, hanging with someone you haven’t met before, but knowing them intimately. One of them became my partner. 

I hardly get letters anymore. I miss it. Every letter feels like a gift. Think about it. Someone took the time to pick the right stationery or cards, the right pen. and then give you a little piece of themselves through their handwriting. Here’s a fun fact about me: If I never buy another piece of stationery and notecards, I am sure I have enough to last the rest of my lift—and share some, too. I think the end of letter writing caught me by surprise.

You might not want to acknowledge this, but email killed the handwritten letter--or at least critically injured it. Even my long-term penpals have opted for the immediate gratification of texts, the convenience of email, or worse-->social media. Consequently, letter writing is a lost art. And now they aren't teaching cursive? I could type a whole email about that. 

I hope we can one day return to the age of the letter. I think people will get tired of emails and texts. They don’t replace the personal connection that you’d get with a handwritten note. Here’s a challenge: If it’s been a while for you—or if you’ve never done it, write someone a letter. It can be brief or long, funny or serious. It doesn’t matter. Whoever you gift a letter to will appreciate it tremendously, and it will make them feel treasured.

You might be thinking that my vision of a return to letter writing is just a pipedream. Ah, well. At least we haven't stopped writing stories.

Take the challenge and let me know what happens!

The Songs of My Life.

Anyone who knows me knows that music moves me. At my writing group the other night, we asked the question, “What is your theme song, the song that plays everytime you walk into a room?” Although we came up with the question, no one had an answer. We decided to table it for future discussion. Just for fun.

Typical of me, I’ve been obsessed with this. What is my theme song? Not the one that I wish would play. But the one that is played. In other words, the song that I think represents me in some way. It is a tough, tough question. If you don’t believe me, try to answer it for yourself.

I finally stumbled on it. My theme song is ON by BTS. It’s a rousing anthem about taking the pain that life can bring and fighting, only to rise again.

Check it out.

This led me to think, what song leads the soundtrack of my life at this moment in my life? That question wasn’t nearly as challenging. I recognize that time is passing so it’s important to focus on the things that bring you joy and nourish you. The song, For Youth, laments a little about the passage of time, but also acknowledges that the most precious thing is enduring love.

What are the songs on the soundtrack of YOUR life?

A Nacho Conundrum. What to do?

I just found out that THIS SUNDAY is National Nachos Day. And I do not know how to process this information.

I’ve been craving Nachos for months now. I’ve resisted because I’ve been trying to eat cleaner, healthier and well, you can’t make good nachos healthy. You just can’t. It’s one of the laws of the universe, like gravity.

So I’m going to have them this weekend. The question on the table is, do I make or buy them? If I buy them, they’d have to make it from the restaurant to my house because I’m not yet eating in restaurants. They could get very soggy. I’m also not guaranteed to get exactly what I want in the ratio that I want. What if they add too much refried beans and not enough sour cream? I’d be devastated.

If I make them, it will cost me more to get all the ingredients than it would to buy them. It would also take a good amount of time from NaNoWriMo writing time. BUT-I would be assured to get what I’m craving and in the right proportions. Ground beef. Jalapenos. Sour cream. Cheese. Avocado. Salsa. Chopped onions. Chopped tomatoes.

What will I do? Damn. I have three days to decide.

It’s the Most Anxiety-producing Time of the Year

I’m When I was a kid, Fall was tough only because it was the start of school. After the first day, it got better. But now, it seems the entire season is a challenge. Is it for you, too?

To make things worse, I've decided to once again take on the masochistic journey called National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). This is a bad idea on so many levels!

• First and foremost, I can't let it get in the way of the release of Waiting on the Son, my newest, completed novel. This is not as simple as it sounds. Worth it, of course, but by no means easy. I'm also working on a new holiday short-story for you.

• November inches me closer to the end of the semester when I'm the most busy with grading and advising students.

• NaNoWriMo is during November, which of course makes Thanksgiving prep and celebrations quite challenging. It's not easy to write 1667 words a day, every day, when I'm also trying to bake bread, decorate cakes, and roast a turkey.

And yet, I love NaNoWriMo. I can commune and commiserate with my colleagues who are doing the same thing while simultaneously giving myself over to my creative energies. In fact, it's required.

I'm going to take the plunge. I have an idea burning in my head and heart which will be the first book in a new series. Now that I say it aloud, I'm getting excited to start. Yay, Nano!

Catch ya later. I need to make a plan.

Titles I Wish I Could Use

I often come up with titles that, once I give some thought, I realize I should probably not use them.

The original titles for two books in my Living After Midnight series are great examples.

Slippery in the Middle

Fruit on the Bottom

Okay, I may still use Slippery. I love that title! But I’m well aware of the problems with Fruit on the bottom.

Here are some of my other ideas in the recycle pile:

Cheese Squirting Out

Chicken Noodle Loop

Desire, Deceit, and Destruction

What’s the worst title you ever thought of? Or have ever seen on a book?

Welcome to Solange DewBerry, Guest Author!

It’s my pleasure to welcome Solange to Living After Midnight. We’re in the same writing/critique group, so I’ve read a great deal of her work and I am here to tell you—she rocks.

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Thanks, Trevann, for the invitation to guest blog today.

So… I have a Fairy Godmother addiction and I’m not ashamed to admit it. There. I said it and I’m not taking it back.

In fact, I’m especially partial to well-meaning, slightly dotty, dear old things who misplace their magic wands in their lingerie drawers, and whose eyes sparkle every now and then when they’re on the verge of concocting the Perfect Romance for one of their charges and can’t quite contain their excitement (or their charms).

As my favorite Fairy Godmother has said countless times, ‘please allow me to introduce myself.’ I write as Solange DewBerry, and I’ve been at this for more than fifteen years. I first dreamed of writing romantic fiction when I was a tweenie and read my first bodice ripper. Literally, they ripped bodices back in those early days of romance writing. Now I know better, given that most corsets at the time were made from buckram and whalebone, and whoever deigned to do the ripping would end up with bloody hands. But I ramble on, a bit like my Fairy Godmother.

As an adult, I started writing straight up contemporary romance, but quickly grew bored retelling the same old story dressed up in new clothes. I needed something new. Not westerns, not regency, not medieval or the myriad of romantic genres. I’ve never been one for shifter drama, and for a while it seemed as if everyone was writing about vampires. Nope, not for me. Then there was urban fantasy. I like to read it but not write it. Aliens looking for human women to fill their harems, nuh-uh. Demons—well, not exactly my thing, but more on that in a moment. Evil pixies… maybe someday. Then one day, it was as if a magical being whispered in my ear: ‘what about us Fairy Godmothers, Dear Girl, don’t we deserve our turn?’ And thus Mrs. Florence Electra McGillicuddy, Order of Cinderella, Level 6, Emeritus, was, for lack of a better term, born.

To best describe her, I’d say Mrs. McG (as she likes to be called) is a cross between Mrs. Doubtfire, Aunt Bea, and Flora, Fauna and Merryweather, with maybe a bit of Amelia Peabody thrown in. She wears floral frocks with lace collars, half-moon glasses, and sensible shoes with sup hose. And when she goes calling, be it next door or to the next state, she always wears a hat with a bit of netting, and white gloves. She prides herself on her PHEAs—her Particularly Happily Ever Afters.

To her dismay, Mrs. McG, was after several hundred years and many thousand successfully executed romances, summarily retired from FaGoMA, the Fairy Godmother Guild, for being rather too radical and rambunctious for the normally staid association. As a consolation prize, they gifted her an old Queen Anne Mansion, hoping to keep her tucked out of the way and out of trouble. But retirement can’t keep the Old Girl Down, and she is now Proprietress of One-Nineteen Chestnut Street, a home for Deserving Young Women of Reduced Means (when speaking she tends to Emphasize some words more than others)…a renegade to the end. Which of course means she can now concentrate on creating PHEAs for her boarders, whether they want her to or not, and without the pesky oversight of The Guild.

I’ve published several short stories featuring Mrs. McG over the past three years and have perhaps a half dozen full-length manuscripts of her matchmaking tales which I hope to introduce to the world. The first of these is now available on Amazon: Dream a Little Dream of Me at One-Nineteen Chestnut Street (for Kindle. Here is the paperback link).

Dream a Little Dream Of Me.

This is the story of Poppy Jones, an orphan without family, struggling to make it in the big city. She’s a photographer who is searching for an elusive fountain in one of the city’s many parks. Poppy isn’t sure it’s real or if she might have once dreamt it. Poppy knows nothing about her own history. Her foster mother always had promised to tell her, but died before she revealed Poppy’s secret. Now, her foster mother left Poppy the worn-out house that sheltered innumerable children over the years. Poppy is cleaning it out to sell it but comes across more than one hidden surprise as she does.

Enter Hank Klein. Hank is a gymnast who competed in the Olympics and won Silver. He’s come back to the city, where his ailing mother lives. She’s asked him to look into a twenty-year old mystery: one of her students was murdered, and her toddler daughter went missing. Hank is trying to puzzle his way through that, and to put together a future for himself, when he quite literally runs into Poppy and breaks her camera lens. Not only that, but he swears Poppy is the woman who has been showing up in his dreams. He is immediately taken with her.

Romance, a few laughs, a couple of charms, and some sexy times ensue. The good times end when the Demon shows up and ruins everything. He not only demands Poppy turn the old house over to him, but he wants Poppy as well, and hints at a few peculiarities in Poppy’s family tree. Not only that, but Mrs. McG discovers Poppy is protected with layer upon layer of tattered but very powerful protective charms. The question becomes, are they protecting Poppy, or protecting the world from her?

Please join Poppy and Hank, along with Mrs. McG doing her well-meaning best to find romance for her favorite border, but it seems all her well-established charms are going haywire around ‘The Dear Girl.’

And if you love it, please leave me a fabulous review on Amazon.

Here are other titles by Solange, all available on Amazon. Mrs. McG makes a guest appearance in a few of them:

The Conrad Brothers:

You’re the One for Me: Berry Samuels, writing romance novels under the nom de plume Solange DewBerry, meets Maurice ‘Moe’ Conrad, contractor and all around great guy. Berry has this peculiar ability to bring her written characters into the world, including her first published hero and heroine, rancher Brad and fashion model Trista, as well as Privateer Captain Conrad and the sultry Svetlana. Unfortunately, Trista takes a liking to Moe instead of her love interest. Moe hasn’t a clue what to do when this gorgeous, larger than life blond goes after him. Berry brings the whole crew to life to get things straightened out.

Waitress in a Doughnut Shop: Jenny Ellsworth works in a coffeeshop. It’s the only life she’s ever wanted and things are great, except for one thing. Or perhaps two. The man she loves from afar: architect Joey Conrad. Joey can’t seem to say no, or break up with his annoying girlfriend until one foggy day. And then Jenny’s childhood best friend, Karma, comes to town. Or does she? Jenny can’t remember her at all. Everyone who knows about Berry’s secret ability swears Karma is one of her characters, but she swears that’s not so. There’s a mystery here even writer Berry can’t figure out, but she’s determined that Joey and Jenny will get their Happily Ever After.

Meetings in Moonlight: Ana is an ethereal beauty in Berry’s romance novel-in-progress. The writing isn’t going well. For some reason, all the words Berry write somehow get changed overnight, and not for the better. Middle brother Pete Conrad read the drafts and doesn’t care that Ana’s not real. He’s in love with her, and will do anything to be with her, including jumping into Berry’s computer so they can be together. After all, Ana’s love interest is a total bore and all wrong for her. Berry’s abilities to bring her characters into the world don’t include actually making them human. Will Berry spend the rest of her life writing scenes for the two of them? How in the world can true love prevail?

First We Kiss: Rhea Hansen-Chalmbers is tiptoeing through life and her work in her mother’s law practice, trying to maintain emotional neutrality. It’s imperative she do so, for terrible things happen when the applecart is upset—like knives flying through the air, or every dish in her cupboard dancing a conga-line before smashing themselves on the floor. Or hurting those she loves. Woodworker Paul Conrad, recovering from a car crash, has loved Rhea from afar, not knowing why she suddenly dropped him as a friend all those years ago. He’s about to find out. He’s asked Berry to stay out of the way of his romance but she can’t seem to help herself. When Paul discovers Rhea’s secret, will he run, or will he stay?

No One Else Will Do: Priya Kumar is doing her best to run the family Laundromat/bar, trying to stay out of sight of the man who loves her, lest he discover her secret. He wouldn’t be the first man to run when he learns she can read minds, and she doesn’t think she could bear to have it happen again. There’s also the fact her younger brother is determined to undermine the family business. Contractor and musician Sammy Conrad, youngest of the Conrad brothers, has loved Priya from afar from the first time he brought his lucky red drawers into her establishment. Is he brave enough to love her and save her from her fate?

Queer Quick Reads-Free!

Sometimes, all you need is a good book!

Happiness Happens

August is Happiness Happens Month. You may be saying, “That is just corny.” I thought so too. But now, I know the truth of the adage.

Toby, aka Tobalicious, aka Little Man, aka Little Stinker.

August has always been challenging for me. First of all, it’s muggy and HOT. Today the heat index was 105. It also is the month where although I am not yet back to work, I am WORKING to prepare for going back to work.

Despite these very serious downsides, I usually find a spot of joy at least once during the month. So far this month, I was sitting in the backyard wishing for a cool breeze and all of a sudden Toby, my Italian Greyhound mix, jump onto my lap and flopped down, laid his head on my arm and fell asleep. Even though his furry little body made me even hotter, it was joyous. I also saw a video of J-Hope’s performance at Lollapalooza and as badass as he was, watching him made me so happy.

Was I expecting to be happy in a month when the heat is stifling? No. But…It happened, and it was awesome.

I suppose the moral to the story is be open to the possibility of happiness so that when it happens, you recognize it and appreciate it.

Besides my puppy and J-Hope, lots of things make me happy. Chocolate chip cookies. Writing. Music in general. BTS and Prince in specific. New makeup. Books about organizing. The ocean. I’m going to make sure to experience all of the above in this sweltering month. And I’ll be ready when more happiness happens.

Take a second and answer my poll: What makes you happy? I’ll share the results at the end of the month.

Layers of Diversity

A diverse group of women and men.

Today, there is a focus on diversity. That’s a good thing! Interestingly, it is almost always the same aspects: gender, sexual orientation, gender expression, race, age, ethnicity, religion. These are also, not coincidentally, protected classes (meaning protected by laws, at least some of the time).

What isn’t often discussed, however, are all of the other layers of diversity worth recognizing. For example:

• Wealth or income level. The amount of money you have affects how you view the world and your experiences in it.

• Education.There are those of us with Doctorates and those without high school diplomas and every step in between.

• Skin tone. Having a lighter or darker pigment, depending on the culture, can affect how you are treated.

• Beauty. Yes, beauty standards vary. But if you exceed or don’t meet the standard, it can affect how people view you.

• Geography. Urban/rural. North/south. East/west. You know what people think. People in the south are slow. City folks are rude. West coasters are laid back potheads.

• Weight/body type. All kinds of assumptions are made about people who are overweight—Lazy. Stupid. Jolly.

On the one hand, it is a research-based fact that when you have a diverse environment, people are happier and more creative, and decision-making is high quality.

In my books, you’ll find characters along many layers of diversity. My characters are older and younger, rich and poor, straight, gay, and transgender, chubby and not. There are attorneys, musicians, drag performers, and corporate bigwigs. And of course, a myriad of races, including the supernatural kind: Vampires, Weres, Incubi, Huldra, Caladrius, Dragons, Wizards and more. All of this makes for, as one reader noted, Memorable characters, humor, compassion, and adventure.

That’s the kind of world I want to live in. The one that diversity can create.

Triumph and Tiaras

I bet you didn’t know today is International Tiara Day. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it before now so you could prepare but better late than never, right?

Women wear tiaras for many reasons. Graduations. Weddings. Milestone birthdays. Some people think tiaras are silly. I am of the opposite opinion.

Tiaras are celebratory. I think everyone-men and women-should wear tiaras to commemorate every victory. You don’t have to wait for something earth-shattering. Every day is Tiara Day.

Finished breakfast without spilling coffee? Get that report in on time? Made it through the presentation without throwing up? Well done! Wear your tiny crown.

Mowed the lawn expertly? Washed the dishes like a pro? Remembered to wear pants? Shine up that tiara and put it on.

Fancy or plain, diamonds or cubic zirconia, it doesn’t matter. What’s important is the celebration of all of life’s moments. Do you know why? Because each moment happens only once.

Rock that tiara.

5 Stress Hacks to Help You Live a Healthier Life

Man literally under stress.

April is Stress Awareness Month.

Many of us have way too much stress in our lives. Stress doesn’t have to come from dire events. It can be insidious, creeping into your life and taking a toll little by little until you feel like the dude in the picture.

Been there? I have.

It is not new information that stress is physically harmful to you. The Mayo Clinic tells us that, left unchecked, stress can cause serious health problems including heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity, and diabetes. It’s in our best interest to find ways to alleviate it.

I know, you’re thinking, “Easier said than done.” A few years ago I would have agreed with you. But one day, I woke up with the realization that stress was killing me. At that very moment, I committed to making changes.

The first thing I had to do was leave the job of my heart. I loved it, was born to do it, but the stress of being a nonprofit executive was off the chart. But that wasn’t all. Here are five ways I hacked my way to a life with less stress:

1. Breathe. I have experienced the physiological effects of deep breathing. If you’ve never tried breathing mindfully in order to calm down your “fight or flight” stress response, just give this one minute exercise a shot and see how it makes you feel. Deep Breathing Tool

2. Put on headphones and listen to music. It doesn’t matter what kind of music soothes you, but headphones are a must.

3. Drink a cup of tea. Any warm beverage is thought to calm your body, but teas especially so. Mint and chamomile teas are well known to have relaxing effects, but so does rose tea. You can read more about it here.

4. Play with your pets. It’s generally known that having puppies and kittens around lowers our stress levels by increasing serotonin and dopamine. Don’t have a pet? Make a cup of tea and watch this video. Goodbye, stress.

5. Read. I know. You’d expect an author to say this. But immersing yourself in the world of a story can take you away and give you a chance to breathe.

   Do you have any additional stress hacks? Let me know!

Word Candy

Language is fluid, always changing to incorporate new words and phrases. I’m old school and absolutely refuse to accept new meanings or made-up words in my speech or text. 

• My characters will never refer to each other as Bae.

• They will never call something “adorbs”.

Colorful speech bubbles

I am far less rigid when accepting phrases, especially those in an entertainment context.  I have been known to utter. “I’ll be back,” when it fits the situation. “Do you feel lucky?” is a question my dogs have heard when they refuse to do something I tell them to do. I’ve said   “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” and “We’re not in Kansas anymore”  more times than I want to admit.  “Stay behind me if you want to live,” is sure to elicit groans

Sadly, I’ve not been to see a new movie in over two years.  I have, however, gleefully leapt down the rabbit hole known as YouTube. Consequently, I cannot watch a video by a certain group without hearing the comments of Cameron Phillip K.’s dubs.Not unexpectedly, I’ve picked up many new phrases. 

I now submit to you a list of phrases I use all the time that came from my foray into YouTube over the past year.  I’m not including the dozens of phrases that have come from Prince lyrics (you’re welcome) but I apologize in advance if you’ve been subjected to them or the ones below.  

• Party, party, yeah!

• Jimin-Go back to sleep!

• Jimin’s got no jams!

• In this economy, (followed by a non-sequitur: In this economy, she’s prettier than I am.)

• No, not today!

• Stob it!

• World-Wide Handsome.

• He looks like a boiled dumpling.

• and the one we use most—Socks first!

What phrases have inadvertently entered your day-to-day language?