A Quest for Organization

Time is slowly creeping toward the end of summer. Unlike most people I know, September marks the beginning of a new year for me. I suppose it is ingrained in me from my youth, or habit from my kid’s schedule, or even from the years of working in organizations in sync with the academic year. Time to shop for a system that holds the key to organizational Nirvana.

Sadly, I have decision fatigue. It happens every year—There are just too many choices. Do I want a classic calendar or a planner? Digital or paper? What are the must-have features?

I typically like a funky way to track my personal goals. Lately I’ve been into this honeycomb design. I also need a great amount of space for my professional tasks, as I tend to have many every week. Some bullet journal space is nice, too, as these make for good, functional to- do lists.

Determining layout includes another set of decisions. Portrait or landscape? Weekly, monthly, daily, or some combination? Twelve months, or fifteen, or eighteen? And what size? That’s particularly critical for non-digital systems.

The absolute hardest decisions, however, are about the design. I like too many pretty, peaceful things?Beaches or lighthouses? Pink or multiple pastel? Or maybe flowers? This alone accounts for my purchase of at least two systems. I won’t admit to you how many I bought last year.

What about you? What system do you use?

I Am Not the Alpha.

My dogs are a little insane. Rescue dogs, they have terrible separation anxiety. If we go outside in the yard without taking them with us, they cry. Toby is afraid of lightening and thunder but also runs at the sound of a bag hitting the floor. Even in very warm weather, he prefers to sleep under blankets. And you can see how he is leaning from the top of the sofa to eat, despite the fact that there was plenty of room next to his bowl. And oh yeah, he won’t eat on the floor.

Molly will eat anything, anyway. She too is afraid of thunder and lightening, but even on a quiet day she stretches on the floor with her head under something. Always. Under. Something. She also manages to twist her body in crazy ways.

Crazy as they are, they are as lovable. They love to cuddle, seem to know when one of us isn’t feeling well, and are happy to come when called. I’m pretty sure they love me…but they love my partner more.

When they hurt or are scared, she is the one they cling to. I mean cling. Molly will walk so close to her, that Molly’s nose touches the back of her knee. Toby sleeps against her back, an unmovable object. I’m the second choice.

For instance, the other night it was raining pretty hard. Actually, it had been raining for several days, with intermittent thunder. My partner was in the basement organizing something. Trembling like a bridge in an earthquake, Toby sat on my lap staring at the basement door. Molly was laying on my feet. They both clearly knew they could find safety with me, but the second my partner came up the stairs, they leaped toward her.

She is also the Alpha. Okay, fine, I’m the Beta. When Molly, my constant eater, gets a hold of something she really shouldn’t have, I cannot get her to put it down. She’d rather swallow whatever it is whole before giving in to me. But a stern word from my partner and boom, she drops it and she’s off sulking and missing the leaf of kale she’d rescued from the floor or whatever it was.

It’s fine. As much as we both love them, she’s their primary caretaker. I wish I could be, but the unfortunate truth is I’m either working out of the house or slaving on the computer in my office. But they follow her around all day.

Okay, yes, I’m a little jealous.

But I’m working on it. I get plenty of kisses and snuggles. What more could I ask for?

Duck, Duck....Cow?

My partner and I headed out today to pick up our CSA share—Community Supported Agriculture. This means a couple of times a year we invest in a local farm, which in turn provides us with vegetables and fruit during the summer and fall. The official temperature was 88 degrees Fahrenheit, which is hot enough. The heat index, however, was a whopping 97. It was brutal but we carried on.

By the time we lugged our bounty to the car and went back into the farm market for some eggs and a few other staples, we were hot, bleary-eyed, and our pulses were elevated from the heat Fortunately, once in the car, it didn’t take too long to cool off.

We took the scenic way home, meaning we drove a number of random streets that we hoped would get us to our destination. We do this a lot. Finding new streets and landing in strange places is fun for us. Today’s journey took us by a pond. It captured our attention because it was right in the middle of a residential neighborhood. Driving by, our conversation went something like this:

Me: “Wow!” I point at the pond. “Cows are in the water!”

Her: Looking at me with a puzzled expression. “Those are mallards. They’re beautiful.”

Me: “Mallards? No, those were cows.” Getting concerned. “You didn’t see the cows?”

Her. “There were no cows.”

So, I turn the car around and drive by again.

Me: “See? Cows.”

Her: “I know my eyes are bad, but those are not cows. They’re ducks. Mallards.”

Me: “If those are ducks, I’m driving straight to the hospital.” I thought the heat had gotten to me and my brain was misfiring.

I turn the car around again. This time, I put on my hazard lights and drive extremely slow.

“Cows!” I point.

“Mallards!” She points.

We realize we’re pointing in different directions. Close to the road, under a tangle of tree branches, are a herd of black cows, just moseying around in the water. Across the pond under a different group of low-hanging trees is the biggest raft of ducks I’ve ever seen.

We looked at each other, eyes wide, and exploded into laughter. We were both right, but we’d been so focused on where our sight first landed that it never occurred to us to LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE IN THE POND.

There has to be a moral to the story, right? But which one:

• You miss out on big and small things when you don’t pay full attention?

• Don’t sightsee while driving?

• Be open to possibilities?

• Heat exhaustion is real?

Oh, well. At least no trip to the ER was necessary. Has anything like this ever happened to you?

Keep Your Cool

I strive to post new blogs each Tuesday, but I didn’t have it in me yesterday. With the heat index, it was 105 humid degrees in Connecticut. It was all I could do to move. There are many other places around the country that are in far worse shape. For example, Oregon reached around 115 degrees Fahrenheit.

The extreme heat advisory is in effect through at least tonight at 10PM. It’s currently a functional 103. Although we don’t have central air, I’m fortunate to be in the position to have high capacity portable AC in the major areas of my home. But my air conditioners are struggling to keep up.

Prolonged exposure to extreme heat is dangerous. It can lead to a condition called hyperthermia, which can cause confusion, nausea, vomiting, profuse sweating, cramps, heat exhaustion, and heat stroke. Take a look at the CDC’s recommendations at the link below. You’ll find an informative infographic that includes a list of symptoms and actions you should take.

https://www.cdc.gov/disasters/extremeheat/warning.html

If you, or someone you know is suffering in the heat, you may not realize that relief is available in the form of cooling centers. A cooling center is a site with adequate air conditioning for people who are at risk of heat-related illness because, for whatever reason, a cool and safe environment is not available them. During the day, you can go to a center and read or work on your laptop, chat with others, etc. while you avoid the potential effects of the heat.

These centers are located in cities and towns all over the country, usually on public transportation routes and operated by municipalities and nonprofit organizations.

There is no cost to take advantage of this life-saving service. One way to find locations and other details about cooling centers in your community is through the 211 network. https://www.211.org

Of course, many of us love sunny warm days and no one is suggesting that you can’t enjoy them. But you have to be smart. At this very moment I’m sitting in my air conditioned living room with two ice packs (one on my head), a tall thermos of ice water, and an ice pop in the freezer with my name on it. Anything I need to do outdoors can wait until the temperature decreases later tonight. Why not do the same?

Stay hydrated, stay vigilant, and stay cool.

Five Things Every Writer Needs

Woman at a table writing in a book with a cup of tea at her side.

A ritual is a combination of symbols, actions, words, and gestures. Rituals can be spiritual, religious, or ceremonial. We also engage in rituals because of their consistency and continuity. For this reason, rituals offer a sense of calm and familiarity.

Many of us are writers. Some are published authors; some are on their way. Some people write stories for their own amusement; others journal for their sanity. Still others write for work. Over the course of my life I’ve fallen into each one of these categories. No matter the type of writing or why one writes, there seems to be ritual involved.

There are five things it seems every writer needs for their writing ritual.

1. A favorite pen. Even if we don’t use it often because we write on the computer, we have a pen that is beautiful and meaningful to us. Long before I started writing for others, a group of friends and I wrote an underground fanzine. Most of the articles/stories began their lives handwritten in a favorite journal.

2. A favorite journal. We might hold it dear because it’s gorgeous, or because of the person who gave it to us. It might remind us of a special place, too. My best friend who is also an author has several journals that she staunchly refuses to write in because they mean so much to her. There are others that are merely slightly less cherished that she uses regularly.

3. A special beverage and/or food item. Some of my author friends are coffee people, others tea. Most of them bring wine and/or candy to the party, too. In a previous life, I wrote grants. Big grants, small grants, foundation grants, federal grants. The federal ones were the worst. They were humongous and complex in terms of required research and writing. I’d write around the clock to finish them. Diet Coke and potato chips got me through every time.

4. A PlayList. A writer’s playlist is a group of songs that either motivate us to write, remind us of our story or our characters, or both. I don’t have a playlist yet for my Work in Progress, but I do have one for my first book. Maybe I’ll share it in my newsletter.

5. Totems. Totems are items that carry spiritual significance, or are symbolic of an important concept. I know two authors who have stuffed animal totems. I have several that are emblematic of serious supernatural writing—to me, anyway. Black fingerless gloves. Goth jewelry. Yellow candles for creativity. Pictures of people who remind me of my characters.

I don’t think rituals are unique to writers. My mom was a caterer who couldn’t cook without the strongest iced tea ever made. I know an artist who must use specific brushes, and swears his best work happens in a particular light of day. Do you have any rituals? What items are integral to your creative processes?

Stealth Delivery

Yesterday evening, I went outside to take my dogs for a walk. To my surprise, three boxes sat on my small porch. Three boxes from three different delivery services.

Wait. What?

Nothing had been on my porch earlier. My doorbell didn’t ring. Neither of my dogs barked and no one knocked on my door. Yet there the packages were.

Man carrying boxes for delivery.

It wasn’t the first time I was a victim of stealth delivery. Once, I went to the front yard to pick up my mail, then to the back yard to put the junk mail in the recycle bin. By the time I returned to the front, a package was on the porch! I hadn’t even heard a vehicle!

I suppose I understand why. It takes less time per delivery if you don’t connect with a person. In the age of COVID-19, it’s safer, too, especially if both parties aren’t wearing masks.

However, if you don’t let me know something is on my porch, how would I know it’s there until I accidentally trip over it? What if it rains? A book would be ruined. Perishables would fade in the heat or cold.

It could be stolen. Sometimes Amazon delivery agents take a picture and email it. That doesn’t work if it’s not always done. The inconsistency means you can’t rely on it to know if your package arrived.

What happened to good old fashioned “ring the bell and run”?

I’m irritated by stealth delivery. How about you?

A Time of Reflection and Thanks

People often confuse Memorial Day with Veterans Day, or assume they have the same meaning. They don’t.

Veterans day was originally called Armistice Day, established in 1919 by President Wilson. It was designed to celebrate the end of “The Great War”, World War I and mark the beginning of peace, good will, and understanding among nations. It later became a legal holiday (1938).

In 1954, after World War II (reportedly the biggest mobilization of service people) , and the Korean War the 83rd Congress amended the Act of 1938, changing Armistice Day to Veterans Day, with the intent to honor veterans of all wars.

Memorial Day is older. It began in 1868 when Maj. Gen. John A. Logan (of the Grand Army of the Republic) declared that Decoration Day would honor those fallen in the Civil War by decorating their graves with flowers. After WW I, it was broadened to include all those who died in American wars. In 1971, Congress declared it a national holiday.

Veteran’s Day honors all who served and sacrificed. Memorial Day honors those who made the ultimate sacrifice.

For many of us, Memorial Day marks the beginning of the summer season. We celebrate this beginning with picnics and barbecues and trips to the pool or beach. But during our fun, we cannot forget to honor those who died for our freedom and safety. As the saying goes, without them, there would likely be no us.

*Information retrieved from va.gov

LGBTQ E-BOOK GIVEAWAY: MULTI-GENRE!

WOOHOO! Another LGBTQ e-book/short-story giveaway, another opportunity to explore new authors! Can’t hurt to check it out, right? Right! (Just click the picture!)

Banner for LGBTQ e-book giveaway.

Oh! I’m looking to add to my street team. You know, a group of avid readers who would enjoy helping me get the word out about my upcoming release (August). You’d be the first to read, plus the only folks to receive exclusive swag. Sign up here!

Who Put the Social in Social Media?

I’m not a big fan of Facebook. I know, I know—Blasphemy. But I am certain when future generations look back on this period in history, they will determine that Facebook is the antithesis of “social” and was the beginning of the end of society as we know it. Here’s why:

• The privacy issues. Because of Facebook and the myriad social media platforms that have followed, we have grown accustomed to having less privacy than we have previously said we wanted. Go looking for that new mattress? Facebook will show you ads. Do a search for a new baking dish? Your feed is not overflowing.

• The ability to congregate. Okay, maybe this part isn’t all bad, as I’ll discuss in a moment. But it used to be the case that if you had some lunatic, criminal idea, you pretty much mulled it over in your basement all by yourself. Maybe you tried to convince your equally disturbed brother-in-law to join you in your flight of fantasy. But now you can find an entire group/page/friend list of like-minded criminals.

• The illusion of anonymity. Not that you’re actually anonymous. But because you’re at home in your bunny slippers and the other people are somewhere else, it can feel like you are. Consequently people seem to think they can say ANY DAMN THING and it’s fine. Bullying, disrespect, cruelty are all okay because, you know, no one knows it’s you.

Everyday I tell myself I need to stay away. That it would be much better for my mental health if I did. But…It is only because of Facebook that I’ve reconnected with people I lost touch with. People I knew way back when—my next door neighbors from childhood found me, for goodness sake! Coworkers I’d lost touch with because I moved—many times—and life has a habit of taking sharp turns. It’s pretty cool that they’ve found me.

Consequently, I’m here on my website. You can find me on Instagram. I play around on Pinterest. And damn it, yes. I’m on Facebook.

I’ll see you there. https://www.facebook.com/trevannr

The Wrap Tour Revisited

I don’t think it is unusual for people to have several personal anniversaries. For me, April will always bring back memories of the Wrap Tour. In 2004, my partner and I were in the middle of writing an urban fantasy.  Ok, most of our books have musicians in them but this one actually featured a rock star on tour.

Our of the blue, our favorite musician announced a tour, the first in several years. The problem, since it was not a planned tour, new dates kept being added while the tour was in progress which means the musician did a lot of crisscrossing the country.  We had a deadline.  What were we going to do?  Keep writing and leave our concert destiny to fate? Nope.

I am known in some circles as the Queen of Ticketmaster.  If I set my mind on getting good tickets, I stalk Ticketmaster until I get them. But tickets to each of these shows was a surprise.  We would have no idea where our seats would be until we picked up the tickets right before the show. I’m sure you can see the problem here. How far were we willing to go for unknown seats?

The tour started in the Midwest in March.  Our first show was in Pennsylvania in April.  From there were drove to Columbia, South Carolina.  Then, because of late booking, we backtracked to Knoxville Tennessee.  Then crossed to Raleigh NC.  Next Stop was Jacksonville, Fl, the up to Birmingham, Alabama, and then Atlanta, Georgia.  We were exhausted and briefly were sick in Florida, so we took a short break and rejoined the tour for 2 shows in DC, then up to Hartford, Connecticut, New Jersey, and New York. We did a total of 12 shows in in 11 states in a period of 3 weeks. We lived on 2:00AM IHOP omelets and BLT or chicken salad wraps from Arby’s while on the road. 

We noted some interesting coincidences.  Every time I wore t-shirt and jeans, we had front row seats.  If I dressed a little less casually, we would be a little further back.  For most of the shows we were in the first 5 rows.  There really isn’t anything like the thrill and the intimacy that is created when you are literally at the feet of your idol, watching him do his thing.

But it isn’t always as wonderful as it sounds.  There is an implied social contract with the band when you’re up front.  You have the responsibility to REALLY show that you’re enjoying the performance which usually means standing up, cheering uncontrollably, and singing along.  We had 3 shows that were on the first balcony  That is a whole different experience.  You can see the whole stage, not just the front.  We learned that we missed a lot of cool interactions by being in the front row.  The best thing is being able to sit down if you want to.

To make matters worse, we are both short and feared that people from seats further back would crowd around the stage and we wouldn’t be able to see.  But we began to recognize and be recognized by the artist’s security so that was never problem. On several occasions people blocking our view were moved back to their seats.

I still have that “front row guarantee” T-shirt and many amazing memories that will always remind me of one of the best times of my life.  We also have an extra memento.  Our writing club awarded us a “trophy” for best use of procrastination under the guise of research.

It's Hard to Not Worry

A friend of mine, who also happens to be one of the smartest people I know, is very worried about the increases in COVID cases in this country. He and I spent the entire year worried, but managed to make ourselves feel better once the rates in Connecticut began to decline and jumped for joy when the vaccine was rolled out in earnest. But things have started to reverse and he’s worried. So am I.

First, we noticed the cases in our state have started to climb. Earlier in March, we were at a low infection rate of 2.7% . Two days ago we were at 4.88%—the highest rate since early January. Second, cases around the country are on the rise, with a couple of hotbed states like New Jersey, New York, and Michigan. As states continue to roll back all restrictions, we’ll see more with that unfortunate distinction. Around the world, the data is sending the same message: The pandemic is not over.

Then we noticed that many people we know are resuming life as it was in The Before Times. They’re eating indoors at restaurants, going on vacations, and taking off their masks. Even people who previously were as cautious as we were are acting like a dose of vaccine is a magic potion.

Then my friend had an epiphany: If the people who, like us, effectively put themselves out of the path of transmission are now putting themselves back IN, there may very well be more people in the chain of transmission than there were pre-vaccine. Add to that dire thought the increased transmissibility, we are in a real life Petri dish.

What pushed me over the edge and back into worry, however, was the recent statement of the current head of the CDC: “I’m going to lose the script, and I’m going to reflect on the recurring feeling I have of impending doom.” You have to admit, even if you don’t completely buy the science (which you should because, well, science), that’s an incredibly scary statement from the head of the Center for Disease Control.

It. Is. Not. Over. #wearyourmask #washyourhands #stayhome The sooner we all resume taking this advice, the sooner we actually can get back to normal.

Four Ways Television Sets You Up for Disappointment

Iwill admit that I watch way too much TV and too many movies. We all know that movies and TV shows are not based on reality. They set up the average person for disappointment–and I’m not even talking about the concept that everyone on most shows is young, beautiful, and wealthy.

These are the Top 4 Ways TV programs have set us up:

Burning candles on black background.

1. The speed of travel. A body can be found on the west coast and a D.C. FBI team is on site before the body is even photographed. On a smaller scale, the main character always gets a taxi quickly. Has that been YOUR experience? Not mine. I remember a fated evening in NYC where not one single cab would stop for me.

   Sometimes we have no idea at all how the characters get around. Do shadow hunters always travel with a warlock to portal them, or do they take the subway in their invisible form?

2. Housing is never an issue. Every character has a bedroom that is ridiculously large. Everyone who lives in a city has a penthouse apartment with glass walls and no curtains. Instead, they have beautiful, panoramic views of the city. Many have balconies large enough to accommodate plants, enough furniture for a full room, and maybe a hot tub. Admittedly, the real issue for me is the window walls. One show has wall of windows with a view of a brick wall that appears to be about three feet from the house. Why???

3. Alcoholism is rarely an issue. This despite the fact that, in some shows, all the characters ever drink is alcohol. They rarely show any consequences of all this drinking. Occasionally someone has a cup of coffee or tea but you have to watch closely for those moments to make sure whiskey hasn’t been added.

4. Unrealistic use of candles. What’s most disappointing to me, however, is that my bedroom is not lit with hundreds of pillar candles that seem to burn day and night. How do they afford all those candles? How do they get them lit so quickly? How are they lit when NO ONE was home? Why do none ever sputter and die?

I suppose I could make do with fewer candles if my room was filled with the strands of twinkle lights you see in the bedrooms of TV teenagers. Or I could get one of those glass-walled apartment and let the city lights illuminate my boudoir. 

It’s something to consider.