Intentions

We did it.

We completed another 365 day orbit around the sun. Was the journey everything you wanted it to be?

Our orbit around the sun.

I think mine was. I accomplished a few things and was pleasantly surprised by some of them. I also took on too much and created an unnecessary level of stress. But 2022 has ended and it’s time to focus on my intentions for the future.

My priority for 2023 is self-care. I know to some of you that may sound pretty self-centered. It is, but it is not selfish. If I don’t take care of myself. I won’t have enough energy, brain power, to do what I need for my family, my writing, and teaching. I cannot continue with the level of stress I’ve had in prior years. So there will be relaxation, time to rejuvenate, a lazy weekend now and then and healthy, delicious food.

Of course, to manage all of this I have to step up my efficiency and organization. I have a few ideas about how to do this.

• Buy and commit to using a planner. I know, duh. But using it consistently is the hard part.

• Schedule DIY spa days. Write them prominently on the calendar so I can’t plan over them.

• Plan meals. I find when I take it day by day I eat worse than when I have and follow a plan.

• Find an exercise I enjoy. I’ve tried Tai Chi a few times and I really like it. It adds more movement to my day while simultaneously giving my mind moments of peace. To start, I’m going to practice 3 times week. When I’m successful, I’ll increase it.

• Drink water. It’s so simple, but despite the fact that I feel better when I do, I don’t drink enough.

• Limit exposure to the news. I am not saying I’ll be ignorant to what’s happening in the world. I’ll stick to the NY Times and other legitimate sources, and I won’t digest every sad or scary prediction.

What are your intentions for the year?

Festive Food!

When I was young, my family had the same meal for Christmas that we had for Thanksgiving: Turkey, dressing, potato salad, macaroni salad, cranberry sauce, green beans, collard greens, candied sweet potatoes, macaroni and cheese. If we were having a ton of people over, my mom might also cook a glazed ham. For New Years, she’d make a lasagna and black-eyed peas and rice with greens and cornbread, a traditional southern meal that is supposed to usher in good luck.

Today, Christmas celebrations are much simpler. We make a small charcuterie board and appetizers: pigs in a blanket, brie en croute, tiny quiches. We munch on them from Christmas eve through Christmas night. We get a little fancier for New Years because it’s my partner’s birthday. This year—Crab legs! I can’t wait.

What do you eat for the holidays? Do you have any food traditions?

Just in time for the holidays!

Join us for a holiday book fair featuring LGBTQ+ fiction. Find your favorite authors and discover some new ones!

Holiday Transformation

Our Christmas Tree. Every ornament has special meaning. For instance, we bought a house. We LOVE Rhode Island Comiccon, and chips are our favorite snack.

Like so many other things, how we celebrate holidays changes overtime. Elaborate celebrations become incrementally simpler yet more precious. Large gatherings shrink into cozy, intimate groups. It’s a bittersweet process.

We also change in terms of the gifts we give. Gone is the need to demonstrate how we feel by the caliber and expense of the gifts. Instead, we look for gifts with meaning. In both cases, getting a surprised and delighted reaction was the goal. But gradually this becomes more difficult. What do you get for that person who needs nothing and wants little?

The pandemic and years of gift giving set the stage for dramatic changes in how my partner and I exchange gifts. Instead of each one buying for the other, together we buy gifts we both want. Often these were experiences instead of things—a weekend in Rhode Island, a few days at a casino resort. When we went to stores more frequently, we strolled the malls and specialty stores looking for nothing in particular but buying things that made us both smile.

Part of our christmas visit. We may need a special table for this next year.

This year, we declared every package that comes to our door to be a present. At this point, the floor around our tree is covered with boxes, and bags and poster tubes. The funny thing is, by the time the holiday gets here, we both will probably forget what we bought. We’ll be surprised after all.

How do you “holiday”?

A Book Event!

Snuggle up with a new book or short story from some of your favorite authors and find some new ones. From warlocks and robbers to erotic science fiction, you are likely to find something perfect for you.

The Spice of Life

Enjoy!

The Songs of My Life.

Anyone who knows me knows that music moves me. At my writing group the other night, we asked the question, “What is your theme song, the song that plays everytime you walk into a room?” Although we came up with the question, no one had an answer. We decided to table it for future discussion. Just for fun.

Typical of me, I’ve been obsessed with this. What is my theme song? Not the one that I wish would play. But the one that is played. In other words, the song that I think represents me in some way. It is a tough, tough question. If you don’t believe me, try to answer it for yourself.

I finally stumbled on it. My theme song is ON by BTS. It’s a rousing anthem about taking the pain that life can bring and fighting, only to rise again.

Check it out.

This led me to think, what song leads the soundtrack of my life at this moment in my life? That question wasn’t nearly as challenging. I recognize that time is passing so it’s important to focus on the things that bring you joy and nourish you. The song, For Youth, laments a little about the passage of time, but also acknowledges that the most precious thing is enduring love.

What are the songs on the soundtrack of YOUR life?

How do you define bold?

Today is national Cook Something Bold Day. The charge is clear from the title. We need to take a leap and cook something bold!

But what exactly is bold? Well, it all depends on your style.

Some think bold food is food made of wacky, unusual, or expensive ingredients. I’m not a fan of this idea. First, food is expensive enough. Did you know saffron—real saffron—can cost upward of $5,000 a pound? Or that white truffles are around $4,000 per pound? I daresay a meal with both ingredients would be bold. I might even say extreme. The most expensive thing I buy (not including the chicken salad at Whole Foods—don’t ask) are crab legs. And I buy those MAYBE once a year.

I have a friend who thinks Kebabs are bold food because they are a Middle Eastern food and that is a part of the world she is unfamiliar with.

I think bold food is spicy. Not burn out your taste buds spicy, but I do like a nice kick with good flavor. Tonight, I’m making Korean BBQ lettuce wraps. I’ve never made it before, but you can find find the recipe I’m using here. The gochujang (red chili paste) guarantees its going to be hot!

If you try it, let me know and we can compare notes. I’m going to leave out the bourbon, but you don’t have to. I may also substitute ground beef for the flank steak. We’ll see.

How do YOU define bold food?

A Nacho Conundrum. What to do?

I just found out that THIS SUNDAY is National Nachos Day. And I do not know how to process this information.

I’ve been craving Nachos for months now. I’ve resisted because I’ve been trying to eat cleaner, healthier and well, you can’t make good nachos healthy. You just can’t. It’s one of the laws of the universe, like gravity.

So I’m going to have them this weekend. The question on the table is, do I make or buy them? If I buy them, they’d have to make it from the restaurant to my house because I’m not yet eating in restaurants. They could get very soggy. I’m also not guaranteed to get exactly what I want in the ratio that I want. What if they add too much refried beans and not enough sour cream? I’d be devastated.

If I make them, it will cost me more to get all the ingredients than it would to buy them. It would also take a good amount of time from NaNoWriMo writing time. BUT-I would be assured to get what I’m craving and in the right proportions. Ground beef. Jalapenos. Sour cream. Cheese. Avocado. Salsa. Chopped onions. Chopped tomatoes.

What will I do? Damn. I have three days to decide.

It’s the Most Anxiety-producing Time of the Year

I’m When I was a kid, Fall was tough only because it was the start of school. After the first day, it got better. But now, it seems the entire season is a challenge. Is it for you, too?

To make things worse, I've decided to once again take on the masochistic journey called National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). This is a bad idea on so many levels!

• First and foremost, I can't let it get in the way of the release of Waiting on the Son, my newest, completed novel. This is not as simple as it sounds. Worth it, of course, but by no means easy. I'm also working on a new holiday short-story for you.

• November inches me closer to the end of the semester when I'm the most busy with grading and advising students.

• NaNoWriMo is during November, which of course makes Thanksgiving prep and celebrations quite challenging. It's not easy to write 1667 words a day, every day, when I'm also trying to bake bread, decorate cakes, and roast a turkey.

And yet, I love NaNoWriMo. I can commune and commiserate with my colleagues who are doing the same thing while simultaneously giving myself over to my creative energies. In fact, it's required.

I'm going to take the plunge. I have an idea burning in my head and heart which will be the first book in a new series. Now that I say it aloud, I'm getting excited to start. Yay, Nano!

Catch ya later. I need to make a plan.

When It Rains, It...Well, you know the rest

I’m wondering, if like me, things come to you in clumps. Long periods without too much going on then SLAM! You are up to your eyeballs in things to do. That’s where I am right now.

The biggest wallop was midterm grades. Yes, I generally know when they are due but I nearly always underestimate how much time I need to do them, and how much stress they cause me. Fortunately, they don’t make me as agitated as final grades but the reason is the same. I do not want to make a mistake. I want to give my students a fair and accurate accounting of their progress. For me, that means quadruple checking not only my tally, but the gradebook itself.

In the middle of my arduous midterm process, I was reminded that I agreed to do a workshop on culturally competent practices and motivational interviewing. Although the workshop isn’t until later this year, I am working with a partner and that means getting ready now (and not doing my usual job of procrastination).

And my picture window finally failed. Completely. It has been difficult to open and shut for a good while. It was framed in wood and about 70 years old. My partner and I had to clear out the living room to make space for the installers. That process showed us in the bright light of day how terrible our floors looked so we took on the additional task of waxing. We are only now finishing putting all the furniture back in place.

Wait, there’s more.

Because this is midterm time, it is also time for students to register for next semester’s classes. Today, I have meetings from 10am to 6pm. Tomorrow, it’s 8am to 5pm. When do I prep for next week’s classes, you ask? Good question.

I’m tired, but I’m not complaining. I know I’m fortunate to have a job I like that supports my writing and keeps my partner and me fed and clothed and sheltered. The truth of the matter is I’d be BORED out of my mind if I had any less to do.

Apparently, I like the pouring rain.

Risk or Treat

Halloween is becoming a cultural hornet’s nest and should be retired.

Yeah, I said it. But let me explain.

At this point, most people know the origins of Halloween. Briefly (and insofar as I understand) it originated with the ancient festival of Samhain. Celtic peoples believed that ghosts returned to earth on October 31. Folks would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward them off.

Over the years, it morphed into the celebration we have today. Children dress up as whatever they want, trick or treat for candy, and carve pumpkins (among other rituals). Adults do the same, except substitute parties for trick or treating.

Sounds great, right? But it isn’t.

Along with little ones excited to get a jack o’lantern filled with candy, the streets Halloween night are filled with teenagers and young adults, carrying pillow cases to collect treats. Many of all ages don’t even bother to dress up. My observation and experience is that it changes the tenor of the evening, and not for the better. Across the country, crime spikes on Halloween. Numerous sources have reported this, such as the NY Post and Eyewitness News. A quick google search of “Halloween violence” will give you pages of articles documenting shootings, property damage, robberies, and hate crimes. For these reasons, many parents are unwilling to allow their children to go trick or treating. Trunk or treating and other adaptations have emerged.

Trunk or treating is where adults are invited to decorate the trunks of their cars Halloween style. Kids walk from car to car collecting candy. Shopping malls have gotten in on it as (in my opinion) a marketing activity where kids, accompanied by parents, go from store to store collecting candy.

Don’t get me wrong. The IDEA of Halloween is wonderful. It is supposed to be exciting and visually entertaining. You can’t beat the vibrant colors and characters and, of course, the candy. And the movies. More importantly, I have many fond memories of taking my nieces and nephews out and then coming home to sort out candy, drinking hot chocolate. Oh, the giggles.

But would I take them out today? No. Not on a bet. This formerly meaningful night has deteriorated into a tense, crime riddled candy grab. Might there be an unintended and unfortunate lesson in taking that risk? Does the potential (but diminished) fun outweigh the risk?

I don’t think so. I also don’t think there would be momentum to discontinue Halloween unless something horrific happens. I hope it doesn’t. I hope everything I’ve said is wrong.

Be safe.

Titles I Wish I Could Use

I often come up with titles that, once I give some thought, I realize I should probably not use them.

The original titles for two books in my Living After Midnight series are great examples.

Slippery in the Middle

Fruit on the Bottom

Okay, I may still use Slippery. I love that title! But I’m well aware of the problems with Fruit on the bottom.

Here are some of my other ideas in the recycle pile:

Cheese Squirting Out

Chicken Noodle Loop

Desire, Deceit, and Destruction

What’s the worst title you ever thought of? Or have ever seen on a book?