There’s an adage that goes something like “If you need something done, ask a busy person”. The theory is that busy people are organized, achievement focused, and diligent. Therefore they are more likely to accomplish whatever is asked of them.
In my experience, it’s true. But it may also be disrespectful of your go-to busy person.
It presumes that whatever it is you need is more important than their many tasks. That efficient and effective person is going have to reorganize their schedule and reprioritize tasks to fit your work in.
This seemingly insignificant ask frees you up, but ties them down. Tasks almost always take longer than you think.
Some busy people are not busy because they want to be, but because they must be. As someone who worked two full-time jobs for more than a decade, I assure you I wouldn’t have if it wasn’t necessary to take care of my family.
Along the same lines as above, staying busy is sometimes a trauma response, one of those maladaptive coping mechanisms that helps one to avoid thinking too much and getting caught up in a hurricane of uncomfortable thoughts.
The inability to say no even when you should may also be a trauma response. Sometimes called the fawn response, it’s a way to avoid conflict, abuse, or trauma by keeping everyone happy.
The next time you’re tempted to ask a busy person to get one more thing done, this time for you, pause and remember that helping you may be hurting them. Instead, buy them a cup of coffee or a milkshake and fries and ask if you can be of assistance.
