Soul Soothing Beach Memories

Just this week, I’ve realized it’s been about three years since I’ve been to the beach. The first two summers I was dealing with excruciating sciatica. Walking was difficult. Driving was impossible. This past summer, of course, was Pandemic Summer 2020. I didn’t go anywhere except for the odd doctor appointment and I had to be forced to leave the house then.

In the last few days, my back has started aching. You know, that band at your lower back? The muscle spasms take my breath away. I’m trying to baby it so that it calms down. I do not want to have another summer without the ocean.

Water rejuvenates me. The sound and rhythm of the waves soothe me. It’s always been this way. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m a water sign. Or maybe its because my mom loved the beach and we’d spend sunrise to sunset at Sunken Meadow Beach on Long Island. If I close my eyes, I can see it as if it was yesterday: Mom in a beach chair with her book. Her beach hat AND a tilting umbrella. The blanket loaded with coolers, KFC, and abandoned flip-flops.

My sister was always the first in the water. My brother was the last because he hated taking off his t-shirt. But once we were all in, it was hard for Mom to get us to come out. The water captivated us.

It still captivates me.

Fingers crossed I don’t have another sciatica flair-up. I’ve got to get to the ocean by summertime.

365 Days

My love belongs to my beloved 365 days a year, 1440 minutes of every day. I work hard each of these days to show my love.

An unexpected cup of coffee.

Flowers for no reason.

A drive to nowhere.

A text from the next room.

And a myriad other moments.

Today is just a day where I shout it to the world. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Writing Through the Pain

I’ve just come through a very difficult period of writer’s block. I’ve not experienced anything like it before.

I was at a pivotal point in the story where my main character experiences something very painful. The kind of emotional agony that brings up every other anguish you’ve experienced in your life. Soul-wrenching. But something was in my way.

My writing process begins with me seeing the scene. I know this sounds weird, but my story comes to me like clips from a movie. No, I’m not saying that the story writes itself or that my characters are in charge or anything like that. But my imagination unfolds the story before my eyes, so to speak.

For this part of the story, the scene was blank, as if the reel of film had run out.

I tried to force the issue. Sitting at my computer for hours and hours, staring at the screen. Reading the thousands of words already written and then reading them again. I realized that I had to step away for a while, so I put it away for a few days.

Instead of coming straight back to it, I decided to plot it out. I opened up a rarely used program and I loaded it with pictures. Then I asked a few questions and wrote down the answers. What was the hero’s goal? What needed to happen and was it compatible with his goal? What was the conflict? The outcomes of the conflict and the reactions to it?

As I considered these questions, the story began to unfold. Suddenly, there they were, the plot point and the pain. As painful as this scene was to be for my character, I needed to find my connection to his pain. I cried as I wrote it. I cry every time I re-read it.

I excited to see what happens next.

Winter Snow is Coming? It's Already Here

I love snow. I’ve said that many times.  But the recent storm has outdone itself. It started Sunday evening.  I shoveled the steps and a walkway for the dogs

And went to bed.

Monday brought a surprising amount of snow.  I had put the garbage can out the night before and the snow was deep enough to cause a problem getting it back up the driveway. Snow was past the bottom of the doors and I spent much of Monday shoveling the steps and walkway for the dogs.  The snow was coming down so heavy that 30 minutes after I shoveled, the trench would be filled again. The dogs were not happy. Unless forced, they would not have left the steps.

To keep snow from getting too deep. We cleaned off the cars and shoveled snow throughout the day. We were proud of ourselves for staying ahead of the snowfall. We went to sleep expecting a fairly normal Tuesday.

But instead of the planned relaxing day of stretches, breakfast, and a day devoted to writing, we woke to snow deep enough to prevent opening the doors and snow literally up to our car’s doorhandles.

One of my favorite fantasies is curling up in front of a roaring fire, drinking hot chocolate, and napping or reading.  Just enjoying the snow. While I have seen a lot of snow and drank a lot of hot chocolate, I have never fulfilled the rest of this fantasy.  Today was not to be the day to live this dream.

Instead, we spent the day shoveling snow and brushing the snow off cars.  Lest you think this was easy, remember that the snow was up to the doorhandles.  And some genius decided to use a snow blower that threw THAT snow onto our car.

We didn’t shovel every moment, but my muscles would debate that.   We shoveled enough that coming inside and using ICE PACKS on our backs was necessary. We had scraped and shoveled the driveway to the street.  And driven over patches of snow to get our car near the end.

As evening fell. I went outside to survey our progress.  The city trucks had made a couple of passes and our driveway was blocked by a wall of snow and ice we could not possibly drive over. Snow had slid off the overhang and covered a good part of the area we had shoveled with 3-5 inches of snow.

At this point, I had the choice of crying or watching a few episodes of my current favorite TV show. To quote Scarlet O’Hara, “after all, tomorrow is another day.”

New Year, New Books!

Everyone likes free books, don’t they? I sure do. Actually, I LOVE books, even the ones I actually buy but free books just make me happy.

The event below contains 36 books and samples of all genres.

Books Galore!

“Hot and Dirty Books” is a Kindle Unlimited promotion. Take a chance on new authors and new steamy books and series’ starters.

To check them out just click on the pictures! Enjoy, and let me know if you find anything you like!

My Empowerment Garden

I’m not much of a gardener. In fact, I hate gardening, indoor and outdoor. The irony is that I love flowers so I do keep trying.

Over the years, it’s seemed that despite my brown thumb and hatred of dirt and bugs, some plants seem to thrive in my yard and in my house. The fuchsia below has been close to death many times but just when I’m about to call it over, it blooms. Isn’t it beautiful? It looks like a painting.

Here is a ZZPlant that my sister gave me ions ago. Originally, there was one stalk. What you see here is what is left after making two additional full pots. I’m convinced this thing cannot be killed. I call it my “little shop of horror plant”.

Here’s one more example, a Peace Lily. My partner and I found it about a decade ago in a discount rack of nearly dead flowers, for less than a buck.

My philosophy of gardening, much like the philosophy I use when it comes to my lawn, is “grow if you want to”. I’ll give the grass and flowers a good shot with water and sunlight as appropriate but in the end, it’s up to them. For my lawn, this has resulted in a mini nature reserve at the foot of my yard. For my flowers, it means some stick around and others don’t. But they are welcome to grow if they want to.

Oh, Look! Presents!

From time to time I have the opportunity to point my readers and followers to a few new authors and a few new books. In honor of the holidays, I have a slew of them!

Click on the pictures and ENJOY!

The books here represent a variety of genres.

Gifts of the (Covid-19) Season

For most of my adulthood, I’ve had a vision of the holidays. Picture this: Sitting in front of a fireplace, looking out of a large (well-insulated) picture window as it snows. On the coffee table is a bowl of popcorn, my mug of hot chocolate (overloaded with marshmallows), and my book. My partner and I spend days on end reading, snuggled with each other, our dogs, and our favorite comfy throws.

What’s your holiday fantasy?

We’ve gotten close in some years, but the days have always been so hectic. As odd as it sounds, this year we’re going to finally do it. The odd and fragile year has give us the gift of time. The gifts of a slower pace and opportunity to focus on our true priorities. Health, happiness, serenity, and love. Oh—and there’s a snow storm coming.

We’re taking advantage of these gifts. I wish you the same.

Weathering the Weather

Wise County, Va.

Admittedly, I have a love/hate relationship with the weather. I cherish the scents and sounds of the ocean, so I appreciate the summer’s warm, sunny days at the beach—as long as it isn’t too warm. I love the smells and scenery of the fall, although the days are often dreary, especially when the leaves turn from colorful to brown. And the winter…Oh, it’s so frustrating.

I do love the snow. It’s so beautiful as it comes down and when it lands. I have an ongoing fantasy of sitting on the sofa with warm fuzzy socks and a cup of cocoa or coffee, holiday music on the stereo and my beloved snuggling next to me, watching the snow fall. Thankfully, I’ve been able to turn it into a reality from time to time. We also love putting on winter duds and sitting on a bench with a thermos of hot chocolate or taking slow walks down our street to take in the view.

Wise County, Va.

Unfortunately, my partner and I both spent years driving in winter weather, in deep snow and ice. I remember nights of white-knuckled fear trying to make my way home from work, seeing numerous cars spun off to the side of the road or in ditches. We’ve both also had too many close calls to count. Even glorious, rejuvenating winter has its downsides.

Then there is spring. Not too cold. Not too hot. Flowers in bloom. Sunny and enough warmth to enjoy the outdoors. Oh wait…It’s also allergy season. And when we’re fortunate, lots of rain.

I suppose the lesson is that I—all of us—have to appreciate both sides of the coin. After all, we don’t get flowers without rain and pollen. And we don’t get snow to enjoy without snow to drive in.

I have my hot chocolate ready. Bring it on.

We Go All In.

Between the two of us, my partner and have 40+ masks. We’ve collected them since March starting with two a friend sweetly dropped off to us. She knew we didn’t have any so she asked her mom to make them. Soon we heard that masks have to be washed after each use—we needed more. That was fine, since information was changing about which material and what thickness worked best. Ultimately, we began searching out masks we simply liked.

One could say we have a tendency to go all in.

Nothing like the sound of music on vinyl.

When we decide to embark on a new exercise plan, we buy all the equipment we could possibly need and new outfits. (You can’t exercise without the right clothes, right?) One weekend we watched The Blacklist with James Spader, fell in love, and bought every movie he’d ever made. We watched The Masked Singer and rushed to iTunes to buy Jesse McCartney’s live albums. Many years ago, I saw Prince in concert and IMMEDIATELY had to have his entire catalogue. Then I had to find everything in multiple formats and collect every magazine that had him on the cover. We all know where things went from there.

We do have fun, from time to time, putting all our energy into something. The only downside is that sometimes, looking back on our quests, we wonder things like, “NOW what do we do with this stuff?”

What kinds of things tempt you to go all in?

Reach Out for Something New

Not too long ago, I was feeling sorry for myself. It all felt like too much, more than I could bear. Maybe some of you can relate. It occurred to me that there are three possible outcomes to the end of the pandemic. I will either come out of this exactly the same (in which case I will have wasted a year or more of my life), I can come out of this worse for wear (and who knows how bad “worse” can be), or I can emerge better than I was before.

I’m choosing the latter.

Vegetable Stew. Yummy.

To this end, I’ve recommitted to eating better. Considering current events, it seems prudent to eat less meat. I’m not ready to go full on vegan. I’m still going to eat dairy, for now.

I’ve been hunting for recipes that are filling but meatless. One meal I particularly like is Vegetarian Stew. It has corn and potatoes and zucchini and tomatoes, among other veggies. With a sprinkle of parmesan cheese, it was delicious. Let me know if you want the recipe.

I’ve also tried my hand at crocheting. I used to crochet—a long time ago. All I ever managed to create were scarves. But look! Fingerless gloves.

Before you start to critique my effort, I already know they’re full of flaws. But when I look at them, I see sheer perfection. I’ll get better with practice.

One thing I still need to add to my process of change is something calming. Peaceful. Reflective. I’m not sure what that will look like. I do need to read more. I love reading but it’s one of those things I don’t often make time to do. I’m not good at journaling. Maybe listening to music? Meditation? There is something appealing about both of those options. That being said, I’m open to suggestions.

I wonder if I will be successful.

In a song, Prince wrote, “It’s time to reach out for something new. That means you, too.” I think it’s my time to change. I’m going to give it my best shot.

Grateful.

This is the next-to-last week for my summer CSA. Every week my partner and I put on our masks and head to a local farm to pick up our share of fruits and vegetables. The farm also has a small farm stand, so also pick up other essentials, like local cheese, bread, eggs, beef (locally raised and processed), and chips—and as you can see in the back right of the picture, sometimes also apple fritters.

The farm stand requires masks and social distancing, and usually has only a handful of people anyway. This little local business has enabled us to always have fresh food during a period when we didn’t think we could because grocery shopping was too risky for us. I am grateful for them.

In this crazy, scary time, it’s hard to appreciate the things that aren’t so crazy. I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude, and reminding myself to consciously be grateful. I am ever so grateful for my partner. I’m grateful for my skilled and understanding doctor. I’m grateful for my employer, and the care it is taking to make sure we’re safe and enabling me to have money to pay my bills.

And I appreciative of my readers who have been on this writing journey with me. Cheyenne also sends his gratitude. Along with a proposition, of course.

What are you grateful for?